


23rd Meteor Street

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ableist Language, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Crack, Daddy Issues, Domestic, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Minor Injuries, Paintball, Performance Art, Self-Esteem Issues, Slow Burn, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 05:59:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5816800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe Dameron and Finn are two strangers meeting in a coffee shop while they are both looking for a new home. They decide to pose as a couple to fill the requisites for a relatively cheap apartment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This work is a fill for the following prompt posted at The Force Awakens Kink Meme:
> 
> "Poe is an aspiring singer and Finn is an struggling comic book artist who works at scary Phasma's (no one knows her real name) comic book shop. After moving out/ getting kicked out of their current homes, they happen to meet at a coffee shop while apartment hunting and become friends.
> 
> Despite only knowing each other for a few days, they decide to pose as a couple to meet the requisites of an advertisement for a relatively cheap apartment, owned by the landlady Leia Organa. Also living on the apartment below Finn and Poe's is Leia's son Ben "Kylo Ren" Solo, a eccentric conceptual artist.
> 
> While Poe and Finn are posing as a couple, they eventually start developing real feelings for each other.
> 
> Also featuring: Leia's niece Rey who soon becomes Finn's best friend and Poe's best friends Snap Wexley and Jessika Pava, who share Poe's intense enthusiasm for paint ball. And Poe's dog BB-8."

Finn heard the dog before he saw it, his claws clicking against the wooden floor of the coffee shop, breathing and panting loudly.  
  
“Hey, calm down, BB-8!” his master said, and Finn turned his head to see the man being dragged by his dog towards the counter. He had never seen that guy before, but then, he had only started going to that particular café for only a couple of days. The man was older than him, black curly hair, tan skin and five’o’clock shadow, wearing a brown leather jacket, a blue scarf loosely tied up around his neck, ripped blue jeans and black, beat-up black boots. He was carrying a guitar case on his back and there was a newspaper tucked under his arm.  
  
His dog was now on its two back legs, trying to sniff out the various cakes in the display cases. His master tugged gently on its leash. Finn guessed that the light brown and white dog was a Corgi, judging by its small size, pointy ears and small paws.  
  
The dog’s master, coffee in hand, scanned the room for an empty seat. His gaze fell on the couch in front of Finn’s, and he walked towards him.  
  
“Mind if I sit here?” he asked with a charming smile.  
  
“Not at all” Finn answered. The dog went under the table, and started sniffing out Finn’s shoes.  
  
“Found a new friend already?” the man said to his dog. “Does BB-8 bother you?” he asked, eyebrows creased, biting his lower lip.  
  
“No, it’s fine!”  
  
The dog had put his two front legs on the edge of Finn’s couch and was staring at him.  
  
“You can pet him if you want to” the man said. Finn reached out his hand slowly and scratched the top of the dog’s head. The dog closed his eyes, seemingly enjoying the attention.  
  
The man had opened the newspaper at the real estate ads page.  
  
“You’re looking for a place?”  
  
“Yes”, the guy said happily, looking up and smiling at Finn. “I only came back into town a few days ago. I’m hanging out at a friend’s place for now, but I want to move in as soon as I can.” He seemed really happy to have someone to talk to, Finn thought. “What about you?” he asked.  
  
“I lived here since I graduated from high school, but my roommate wants her boyfriend to move in. She said I could stay but… it would just feel awkward, you know?”  
  
The man nodded. “Been there, done that.” He sipped on his coffee. “Sounds like we’re looking for the same thing. How do you feel about a little group work? To be honest, I’ve been away from town for what, nine years? And I don’t know the area well, outside of my friend’s neighbourhood. I could use some help.”   
  
Finn was a bit uneasy. Of his own admission, he didn’t have many friends and wasn’t the kind of guy to strike up random conversations with strangers. But somehow, he had a good feeling about this guy. Finn slid on the couch until he was against the wall, and the guy sat next to him. He stretched his arms over his head. “Let’s do this!” he said in a cheerful tone, before starting to read the ads in his newspaper carefully.  
  
They were making a good team, Finn thought. He had brought his laptop with him, which increased the numbers of ads they had access to, while the newspaper had published ads that weren’t available on the Internet. However, their research was in fruitless, and it seemed everything was either too expensive, too far away from the centre of the town, or for the man, didn’t allow pets.  
  
“I have to go to work” Finn said two hours later, eyes tired from all the reading.  
  
“Okay.” the man said as he stood up. “I didn’t catch your name.”  
  
“I’m Finnley.” The man raised his eyebrows.   
  
“Finnley?”  
  
“What’s wrong with my name?”   
  
“It sounds like the name of an Irish pub.”   
  
Finn shrugged. “People shorten it to Finn. What’s your name?”  
  
“Poe Dameron.”  
  
“Poe? What kind of name is Poe?”  
  
“My mom was a big fan.” He chuckled. “Guess that’s one more thing we have in common. Weird names. See you around, Finn. I’m probably going to hang out around here for a while, so I hope we’ll meet again.”

 

 

Phasma placed her hand on Finn's shoulder as he was shelving this week's arrival of comic books. "We need to talk" she said in her usual cold, authoritative tone.  
  
"Your current living situation is affecting your work performances negatively."  
  
She was giving him her best icy stare. Finn swallowed hard. He was losing his apartment, and now he was going to lose his job?  
  
"Come with me" she said, and she opened a door in the back of the store. They walked through a dark corridor and climbed an old wooden spiral staircase. There was another door on top of it. She took an old, metallic key out of her pocket and opened the lock. The door creaked as it was opened, and at this point Finn almost expected to stumble upon Bluebeard's secret atelier.  
  
Behind the door instead was a dusty room, with outmoded linoleum on the floor and a wallpaper that was starting to peel away. The room was lit with a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. The only furniture were a bedframe, a table with a chair and a cupboard. Finn was pretty sure everything in there was older than him.  
  
Phasma opened the window, hoping to get rid of that distinctive smell of a room being unoccupied for too long.  
  
"There is a bathroom, too" she explained as she opened another door, revealing a toilet seat and a sink. “Public baths are still a thing, right?” she asked, and Finn didn’t dare answering.  
  
“You should think about it” she said as they went back to the comic book shop. “You wouldn’t have to take the subway to go to work. You would always be on time.”  
  
“I’ll think about it” he said quietly, looking down.  
  
“You have until the end of the month to stabilize your situation. Otherwise…”  
  
“Otherwise what?” Poe asked the next morning at the coffee shop, as Finn was finishing to tell him his story.  
  
“Otherwise I’m probably going to get fired. Or worse.” Finn said, grimacing.   
Poe put his hands behind his head. “We can’t let that happen.”  
  
“It’s just pointless” Finn sighed, looking at the ads on his laptop screen. “There is always a catch. Look, right there: nice neighborhood, only fifteen minutes away from downtown, pets allowed, the rent is affordable, there’s even a garden, and then they end the ad with “professional couples only.”  
  
Poe rested his chin on his right hand, slowly reading the ad.   
  
“You need a fake partner” he said.  
  
“I need a- what?” he almost yelled, staring wide-eyed at Poe. Poe was smiling at him, sparkles in his eyes. “You want me to have a pretend girlfriend for the visit?” Finn asked.  
  
“Not necessarily a pretend girlfriend. This is 2016, it would probably work with a guy too.”  
  
Finn stared back at Poe, until it finally clicked in his head.  
  
"You want to be my fake partner" Finn realized.   
  
"I would understand if you didn't want to. We've known each other for, like, four days?"  
  
Finn considered the offer. Sure, it was a bit fast, and he probably should be more careful, but he thought he was going along quite well with that guy. What choice did he have anyway?  
  
"Ok, I'm on board. But I don't know if I can pull it through"  
  
"We need to carefully create a story. Our story" Poe explained.

 

 

Poe reached out for Finn’s hand. “We need to start getting in character now” he said with a grin, as they walked through the neighborhood and towards Mrs. Organa’s building. Finn wasn’t feeling very well. His hands and forehead were sweating, and a knot from his throat kept him from drawing in deep breaths. He looked at Poe, who, contrary to him, seemed to find the whole situation amusing and exciting. Poe was looking at the address written on the ad they had printed out. 23rd Meteor Street, Finn read, and looked around to see they were already walking in this street.  
  
“How did we meet?” Poe asked suddenly.  
  
“I was a waiter in a bar you were performing at. We took a smoke break together and that’s when we got to know each other. It was four years, seven months and ten days ago.”  
  
“What’s my favorite dish?”  
  
“Blueberry pancakes. What’s mine?”  
  
“Penne all'arrabbiata, which you learned to make for yourself after you tasted it for the first time during a high school trip to Rome.”  
  
“You didn’t need to remember that” Finn said, slightly impressed.  
  
They arrived at the door of a three-story red brick building surrounded by a well-maintained lawn. Poe rang, and squeezed Finn’s hand. “We’re going to do this, buddy” he said, grinning at Finn.  
  
The door opened to a middle-aged woman, hair tied up on the top of her head in what looked like a very complex braid, wearing a long-sleeved dark blue dress. Her gaze was stern and her mouth slightly pitched.  
  
“You are the young couple I had on the phone yesterday, I presume?”  
  
Poe and Finn nodded. “Good morning, Mrs. Organa. I am Poe Dameron, and this is my boyfriend Finnley”, Poe said.  
  
“Good morning to you too. I’ll show you the apartment.”   
  
She turned around and started climbing the stairs. She was standing very upright, one hand laying on the railing, the other holding the skirt of her dress. Finn wanted to focus on the visit, but it seemed he couldn’t escape the landlady’s intense, cold stare.   
  
Poe had lost a bit of his countenance too, as his hand was squeezing Finn’s a little too strongly, and he was much less talkative that Finn had expected him to be. They realized anyway that the apartment was relatively big, clean, and fully equipped (Finn was almost sure Poe muffled a little scream of joy when they discovered the bathtub in the bathroom) so what more could two almost-homeless guys ask for?  
  
Mrs. Organa made them sit down in the living room couch. She herself sat on the armchair in front of them, taking care not to fold her dress. “What do you do for a living?”  
  
“I have a position as a part-time music teacher in a private middle school. I sing and play guitar in bars during the weekend,” Poe explained.  
  
“And I work part-time at a comic book store”, Finn completed.  
  
A smile dawned on Mrs. Organa’s face. “Not quite like the other tenants I’ve had before.”  
  
“If you are worried about the noise, I can rehearse at the school.”  
  
She shook her head. “I never said I was worried. I never developed much   
sensibility for the fine arts, so I’m curious about the people who did.”  
  
“How long have you been together?” she asked.  
  
“Four years, seven months and ten days” they blurted out together.  
  
She stared at them in silence, eyes half-closed. “Very well”, she declared,   
  
“You can move in when you are ready.”  
  
“Really?” Finn asked excitedly. Poe pulled him into a hug. “Thank you very much, Mrs. Organa.”  
  
They signed the paperworks together, and Mrs. Organa then excused herself, wishing them a nice day and slightly bowing before them.  
  
“She’s… quite something”, Finn began once he was sure she couldn’t hear them.  
  
“She was a bit scary at first, but I think I will like her.” Finn stared at Poe, eyebrows furrowed.  
  
“Don’t look at me like that! I just think she’s… classy? She seems very well-educated. Like a noblewoman. Maybe she’s a noblewoman. Like, what if she was a descendant of Russian nobles who escaped to the United States after the October Revolution? Organa, it could be a Russian nobility name?”  
  
“My knowledge of noble families start and stop at the Lord of the Rings elves. Besides, a noble woman who needs to rent her house for a living?”  
  
Poe shrugged. “Just because you’re noble doesn’t mean you’re automatically wealthy.” He stood up from the couch.   
  
“You’re on your day off, right?”  
  
Finn nodded.“How about we move in right now? I’ll call my pals Jessika and Snap, and we can do that in no time!”

 

 _Packed my things. Left the key under the flower pot. Good luck with your bf_ , Finn texted to his former roommate. She had been off somewhere when he, Poe and Poe’s friends had arrived at his former apartment. He wished she had been there. Over the years, he had seen her as his best friend, but looking back, he wondered if it wasn’t just wishful thinking. When he had told her that he would move out as soon as possible once she told him her boyfriend would move in, she had barely hidden her satisfaction at the news, and he could tell she was only being polite when she told him to take the time he needed.  
  
Finn’s earthly possessions could fit into two cardboard boxes. Poe had raised his eyebrows when he saw Finn and Snap leave the apartment with only one box each and then climb up back into Jessika’s truck. Is that all, he had mouthed to Finn, and Finn could only shrug. Poe had been the complete opposite, filling the truck to the brim.   
  
“Poe, I’m so fucking glad I’m going to get rid of all your random bullshit, you have no idea” Jessika had laughed.  
  
“That’s not random bullshit, these are my dear memories of my youth” Poe had answered, slightly offended.  
  
“Well I’m glad your dear memories of your youth are getting out my living room.”  
  
The first thing that Poe unpacked was his vinyl turntable. His huge collection of records had followed soon. He turned the music on, a rock band Finn didn’t recognize. He had to admit that he didn’t care much for music anyway. “Is everyone cool with pizza?” Poe had asked.  
  
And now Finn was slowly chewing on his pizza slice, BB-8 on his lap, holding his phone with the other hand. There was a selfie of him and Poe on the main screen that they had made yesterday. They took it so that it would be an additional element of their cover story, in case one of them got a call during the visit. The devil was in the details, Poe had explained. There wasn’t any use to it anymore, but Finn couldn’t remember if he ever had taken a selfie with someone else before. He didn’t have anything better to put as his main screen picture for now, anyway.  
  
“Penny for your thoughts” Poe said, leaning on the wall next to him, nursing one of the beers Snap had brought with him in a cooler. Finn shrugged. “I was just thinking I never done something that crazy before. Posing as a couple and a moving in with a stranger”, Finn lied, and Poe chuckled.  
  
“A stranger? After I told you all the embarrassing mistakes I’ve done as a kid so she would believe our story?”  
  
“Finn, you’re young, you’re supposed to do crazy things like that!” Jessika said to him, waving her beer. “What are you going to tell to your grandchildren when they ask you about your formative years?”  
  
Snap winked at Finn. “Don’t worry, with Poe you’re going to catch up with the rest of us in no time.”  
  
Finn glanced at Poe, suddenly worried. Poe raised his hand. “Stop making me sound like I’m just out there to corrupt the hard-working youth of our country, Snap.”  
  
Finn was starting to feel embarrassed. He noticed that the beer bottles were starting to accumulate on the table, and offered to take them to the trash bin downstairs.  
  
The path to the trash bin was first leading him to the door of the tenant downstairs. He heard a horrible cry coming from behind the door, freezing his blood and nearly making him drop the bottles. The cry was followed with the sound of fabric being torn off and a heavy object falling on the floor.  
There was a silence, and then the door opened, creaking. A man stepped out of the dark room. He was wearing a worn-out welding mask with what frighteningly looked like blood smeared all over it, keeping Finn from seeing the man’s face. He was holding a Japanese sword in his right hand.  
  
“Please don’t kill me” Finn yelled at the top of his lungs, holding out his arm in front of his face in a futile effort to protect himself.  
  
He heard footsteps above his head and then in the staircase. Poe, Jessika and Snap ran towards him. Jessika was armed with a paintball gun, while Poe and Snap had grabbed a broom and a chair respectively, holding them out before them. BB-8 was between Poe’s legs, in a defensive position, baring its teeth and growling.  
  
“Get away from her, you bitch!” Jessika yelled at the masked man.  
  
“Jessika, they’re both guys!” Snap muttered at her. “Get away from him, you asshole!” he yelled instead.  
  
“Doesn’t have the same ring to it!”  
  
The man raised his free hand over his head in surrender. “Good, now drop your weapon!” The man crouched and carefully put his sword on the floor. Snap left his chair and walked to him as Jessika was holding him at gunpoint, and picked up the sword.  
  
Poe side-stepped towards Finn, hands contracted around his broom, not turning his gaze away from the strange man. “You okay, buddy? Are you hurt?”  
  
“I’m fine, I’m fine” Finn assured. BB-8 was on its two legs, licking Finn’s hand.  
  
“Buddy?” the man asked, looking at Poe and Finn. Poe raised his eyebrows.   
  
“What?”  
  
“My mother had specified in the advertisement that she was seeking out professional couples, not buddies.” Finn’s eyes widened. This guy was Mrs. Organa’s son? She was the mother of a psychopath who lived downstairs from them? And now, was he going to tell his mom that he figured them out?  
  
Poe’s mouth twisted. “That’s our pet names for each other. Buddy and buddy. Got anything wrong with that?” he yelled.  
  
“I don’t believe you.”  
  
Poe turned to Jessika, who shrugged and grimaced at him.  
  
“I don’t think she was seeking out psychopaths either, so we’re even, unless you’re privileged because you’re her son.”  
  
The man shrugged. “I’m not a psychopath. I am an artist.” He pointed to his welder helmet. “This is just fresh paint.” Jessika slowly walked towards him, still pointing his gun at him. She put a finger on the man’s helmet, and stuck some of the liquid on the tip of her finger, smelling it and rubbing it between her fingers.  
  
“He’s telling the truth.”  
  
“What about that?” Snap asked, waving the sword.   
  
“It is more of a creative tool than a weapon. You should be more careful, it’s quite sharp, and I want to keep it clean.”  
  
“What kind of stuff are you even doing?” Poe asked, still tense and ready to hit the guy with his broom if necessary.  
  
“Anger. Pain. Fear. Aggression” the man said in a very deep voice, articulating every word. “I’m delving into the Dark Side of the human soul. I’m not expecting you to understand.”  
  
“Okay…” Jessika said, lowering her gun. “Sorry for the misunderstanding. Want to get a beer? Without the mask and the sword, perhaps?”  
  
Poe stared at her wide-eyed, mouthing _are you out of your mind_ to her. She whispered something to his ear, and he released his grip on the broom.  
  
“Is that okay with everyone?” the man asked.  
  
“Yeah” Poe said reluctantly.  
  
Once everyone was back at Poe and Finn’s apartment, the man removed his helmet, revealing a pale face surrounded by black curls. Finn couldn’t tell if the guy was in his twenties or his thirties.  
  
“So… what’s your name?” Poe said, handing him a beer bottle.  
  
“Thank you”, the man said. “My name is Kylo Ren.” They all stared at each other, but Finn thought that Finnley and Poe Dameron weren’t in the best position to make commentaries on their neighbor’s name.  
  
“Kylo, are you going to tell your mother about me and Finn?” Poe asked. Kylo sipped on his drink, taking his time before answering.  
  
“I do not personally care either way about your relationship status” he declared.  
  
“Good” Poe nodded, before drinking a mouthful of beer. He almost spat it out as his phone started ringing in his pocket. The ringtone was a piano melody, and Finn saw both Jessika and Snap grimace at the sound of it. Poe’s mouth twisted, and he opened the door to the apartment as he was answering the phone. Finn heard him walk in the hallway and climb down the stairs.  
  
There was an awkward silence, as Jessika and Snap looked at each other, mouthing something Finn didn’t catch, and as Kylo kept sipping on his beer, seemingly indifferent.  
  
A few minutes later, Poe was back and Finn could see he was forcing himself to smile.  
  
“Sorry about that” he apologized, combing his hair with his hand.  
  
“Snap, I think we should go, it’s getting late” Jessika said, pulling herself out of her chair. Snap nodded and followed her.  
  
“I, too, will take my leave. My mind needs some rest.” Kylo explained as he put the half-empty bottle on the table.  
  
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay a little longer?” Poe said, scratching the back of his hand.  
  
“Now, we’ve already stayed long enough. Besides, you need some time alone with your boyfriend, if only to get into the part” Jessika answered, winking at Finn. “Good night, lovebirds!” she yelled as she went through the door, Snap and Kylo following behind her.  
  
Poe let himself fall on the couch, and let out a long, deep sigh that seemed to come from the very bottom of his heart. Finn was curious about that phone call, and Poe’s friends’ reaction to it. It seemed rude to ask Poe about it, though, so he decided against it.  
  
“I… think I’ll go to bed now. So… Good night?”  
  
Poe had pulled out his phone again from his pocket. He waved at Finn. “Good night” he said, briefly looking up from his phone.  
  
Finn shrugged. It wasn’t his business anyway, and yet… He shook his head. It was probably nothing worth worrying about.  
  
Unfamiliar ceilings, he told to himself once he had made his bed and slid under his sheets.  
  
His heart was beating hard in his chest. It had been one hell of a day, he thought, between nailing the interview with the landlady and believing he was going to get murdered by the psycho that lived downstairs from them. But it had been fun pretending to be a couple with Poe. He was a bit surprised by how easy it had been, sharing anecdotes of their past, the stuff he’d only learn after being friends with someone for months. But Poe had been a great listener, asking questions about things without sounding judgmental, and while he laughed at some of their sillier stories, Finn just knew he wasn’t making fun of him.  
  
Finn closed his eyes, and as he was falling asleep, his last thought was for Poe, and how relived he was that he had followed his gut instinct back when he had first met him.

 

Someone knocked on their door, and Poe stood up from the couch, forcing BB-8 to move from his lap. The dog followed its master, wiggling its tail. Finn looked up from his drawing, pencil up in the air.  
  
“Hello, guys” a cheerful, feminine voice said. The visitor stepped in, revealing a short, slender young woman. She was wearing a huge beige sweater, a dark blue skirt, black pantyhose and worn-out red ankle boots. She was holding a basket in front of her.  
  
“And hello, you cute little thing!” she exclaimed, crouching down to scratch BB-8’s head.  
  
“I’m Rey Organa. The niece of Mrs. Organa”, she explained. “She’s out of town until the weekend, so she asked me to check if everything was going well here. Also, I made you a welcoming gift!” She handed the basket to Poe, and took off the tissue napkin covering its content. “Cookies!” she said cheerfully.  
  
Poe gave him a big warm smile, the one Finn had started to label as Poe’s trademark smile. “Thank you very much, Rey” he said, putting the basket on the table. “Do you want anything? Coffee? Tea?”  
  
“Coffee is good!” she answered. She watched over Finn’s shoulder and emitted something Finn could only describe as a squeal.  
  
“This is so cool!” she said cheerfully. “You draw comic books?”   
  
“Well, sort of. I have a webcomic going on, and I take drawing requests from people on the Internet from time to time.” His web comic had been on hiatus for over four months, but Finn judged it was better if she didn’t know.  
  
“Your stuff is better than some of the published comic books I saw” she said, starring wide-eyed at Finn’s drawings. “You need to teach me your ways!”  
  
“Really?” Finn was flattered. He received nice comments on his art from time to time, but so far nobody in real life had seemed very interested.  
  
“Yes, really!” she said with a big smile. “Almost forgot why I was here in the first place! Is everything going all right? Electricity, water, heater?”  
“We couldn’t get the heater started in Finn’s room” Poe explained, turning on the coffee machine.  
  
“ _Finn’s room?_ ” she asked, arms crossed on her chest, squinting her eyes, and Finn could suddenly see the family relation between her and Mrs. Organa.  
“Because I snore!” Finn blurted out. Poe walked behind Finn’s chair and put his hands on Finn’s shoulders. “He cares so much about me getting my eight hours of sleep every night” Poe explained.  
  
There was an awkward silence as Poe remained hunched over Finn, his hands squeezing Finn’s shoulders, both of them very still while Rey was staring at them.  
  
“So… coffee?” Poe asked nervously. Rey uncrossed her arms, and smiled at both of them. “Sure. Then I’ll go check out that heater” she answered.  
  
“So, what do you do, Rey?” Poe asked, sipping on his coffee, before taking a bite out of one of Rey’s cookies. BB-8 had put his two front paws and his head on Rey’s thigh, desperately trying to get her attention.   
  
“This and that. I work as a cashier at a convenience store for now. I don’t really know what to do yet, so I’m trying out a bit of everything, but Aunt Leia said it was okay for me to take my time to pick something as long as I’m working.”  
  
“You could probably start baking professionally” Poe said with a wink, waving the remaining half of his cookie, and Rey’s face turned red. “Thank you”, she mumbled, a bit embarrassed. She finished her cup of coffee. “I’m just going upstairs to grab my toolbox and I’ll be right back!”  
  
“You think she knows?” Finn asked once she was out of the room.  
“I hope not.” Poe put his hand on his face. “Sorry, buddy, second time I’m fucking up in seven days.”  
  
“As long as it’s not in front of Mrs. Organa, we’re going to be okay” Finn declared. “And I’ve never been in a relationship before, so you’re doing all the hard work here.”  
  
“What? Never ever?” Poe exclaimed.  
  
“I’ve had a few crushes on some people, but I… never really had the guts to go any further.”  
  
“Aww” Poe said. “I’m so sorry. Listen, Jessika knows quite a lot of people in town, so we can set you up a date or at least a meet-up with some singles we know.”  
  
Finn shook his head. “No offense, but I don’t think I want to be in a relationship right now.”  
  
“None taken” Poe said, smiling warmly at Finn.  
  
Rey was back a few minutes later, toolbox in hand, and the three of them went to Finn’s room to check on the heater. Rey was apparently as good at home improvement as she was at baking. It only took her a few minutes to strip down the heater and figure out what the problem was. Ten minutes later and the heater was working again.  
  
“Thank you very much, Rey” Finn said as she was wiping her hands with a towel Finn had handed to her. “If there’s anything we can do to help you, just say so.”  
  
Rey laughed. “It was my pleasure! And it’s me and Aunt Leia’s responsibility to make sure everything’s going well in here.”  
  
They went back to the living room. She was looking at the room, a bit encumbered by Poe’s decoration, a mix of old movie posters and various souvenirs coming from various places all over the world. It was starting to be a bit messy, as both Finn and Poe had a tendency to draw or write music on loose sheets of paper.  
  
“I like your place. It’s comfy, and it’s buzzing with creative energy.” She turned to look at Poe and Finn. “You two are the most interesting tenants we’ve had in this house. Usually it’s just a couple of office workers. Nothing wrong with that, but… Artists are fun too! It’s also the first time we get two guys posing as a couple.”  
  
Finn and Poe’s eyes widened, and Rey burst out into laughter. “Don’t worry, I’m not telling my aunt.”  
  
The two men sighed in relief. “But in return, you will have to teach me how to draw, Finn!” she declared, pointing her finger at him. “Deal?”  
  
“Deal”, Finn conceded.  
  
“Cool” Rey said, grinning. “Well, have a nice day, you guys!” She picked up her toolbox and waved at them as she left the apartment.  
  
“Am I getting blackmailed?” Finn asked.  
  
“I don’t know. Would you have taught her if she asked you anyway?”  
  
“I guess so. I mean, she’s nice and she seems to genuinely think I have some talent. It’s flattering.”  
  
“I think you’re talented too” Poe exclaimed, crossing his arms on his chest, brow furrowed.  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah, really! Stop being so hard on yourself!” Poe said. He sighed. “Well, as long as you teach her, we’re safe, right?”


	2. Art

Rey was holding out her paper sheet in front of her, turning it slightly to the right before grimacing. “It’s so pretty in my head, but whenever I’m putting in on the paper it all comes out wrong.”  
  
Poe, Finn and Rey were sitting on the couch, with Finn in the middle. BB-8 had somehow found a way to tuck himself between Rey and Finn, and the latter was petting the dog’s back. Poe looked up from his writing, and stared at Rey’s drawing. “It’s not _that bad_. Better than what I could do.”  
  
“But you haven’t spent the last three weeks practicing your drawing!” Rey said. She sank into the couch, seeming genuinely upset by her perceived lack of progress.  
  
“It takes a lot longer than that before you can draw things the way you want to” Finn explained. “If you feel bad, just look at what your drawings looked like three weeks ago.” Finn stood up and went to his room, coming back with his drawing pad. “I used to throw out the old stuff, but when you keep them you see from how far you’ve come”. He opened the pad and showed off his older drawings at Rey. “See?”  
  
“Yeah.” They went through the most recent of Finn’s drawings as well. “You’ve drawn a lot more stuff since you moved in, Finn”, Rey remarked. “It’s the buzzing creative atmosphere!” she said cheerfully. Maybe it was because of that, Finn thought. Rey had helped too. She had explained that she had a lot of Internet friends, and that she had shared Finn’s web comic page to the ones that could be interested. As such, visits had doubled, and he had felt a little bit more pressure to break the hiatus. He had wondered if it wasn’t going to impact the comic’s quality, but Rey had reassured him, telling him that she thought his new stuff was even better than the pre-hiatus part.  
  
A drawing escaped from the pad, and Poe caught it with before it could land on the floor. He held out in front of him. “The Nightingale” he read out before handing the drawing back to Finn. “Who’s the Nightingale?” Rey asked, leaning towards the drawing. “It’s a new character for the web comic” Finn explained. “Based on Orpheus. He uses a hybrid weapon between a bow and a harp, and he can manipulate sound waves. To break stuff or something. I’m not really sure on his skillset, yet. I was also thinking of him using his music to influence people’s emotions, but maybe that’s a bit too much.”  
  
“I like his clothes”, Rey said. Finn had drawn him with a dark blue hunting hat sporting a single silver feather, an assorted short blue cape, a large white shirt with puffed sleeves, skinny red and black striped leather pants, and black ankle boots. “And he’s cute, too! My friends are going to love him, Finn.” She looked at the drawing, then suddenly her eyes widened, and she looked up at Poe, grinning at him. Poe’s eyebrows creased, and he went back at the drawing, and then back to Rey, face reddened.  
  
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Finn asked. “It’s nothing, Finn, really!” Rey answered joyfully, holding back her laughter.  
  
It only hit Finn a few hours later, as he was classifying his drawings in his room after Rey had left them for the night. He looked back at the drawing again, squinting his eyes, and finally realized he had more or less turned Poe Dameron into one of his characters.  
  
“The nose is all wrong” he sighed, before pulling an eraser out of his pencil case.

 

“You are summoned next Friday to the Knights of Ren’s first representation of The True Nature of the Soul” Kylo said solemnly while handing out a flyer to Poe and Finn.  
  
Finn looked at the paper, showing seven masked and hooded men on a grey background. Behind it was the information about where and when the show would take place, and some words about the spectacle itself. Everything had been printed red on black.  
  
“The True Natural of the Force is a poly-approach to what dwells deep inside each human being’s subconscious. The Knights of Ren freed themselves of every societal expectation about what the soul is, offering a crude portrayal of humanities’ ancestral fears and angers…” Rey read aloud. “Did you write that, Ben?"  
  
Kylo didn’t answer and furrowed his brow. Rey rolled her eyes.  
  
“Did you write that, _Kylo?_ ” she asked again.  
  
Kylo nodded. “The Knights agree that this is a good summary.”  
  
“Sounds promising”, Poe said. “My bandmates all caught the flu somehow, and we had to cancel for next Friday, so I’ll be free.”  
  
“Mother said she would be there” Kylo said in a low voice. “You need to come too, Rey” he declared.  
  
“Well if Aunt Leia’s going… I guess I have no choice” Rey said, rolling her eyes once again. “What about you, Finn?” she asked.  
  
Finn shrugged. “Sorry, it’s raid night with my guild.”  
  
“No problem”, Poe said. “You need to spend time with your Internet friends too!”  
  
They are not my friends, Finn wanted to answer. They were simply team mates, working towards the same goals, not sympathizing much with each other beyond that. He had hoped they would become friends, and that was probably why he had started playing online role-playing games in the first place. Just like with his former roommate, he had had too much expectations and ended up sorely disappointed.  
  
“I’ll show it to Jessika and Snap too”, Poe promised, waving the flyer.  
  
“The Knights of Ren would appreciate that.” Kylo answered.

  
  
There was a name in the four-player team that Finn didn’t recognize.  
  
“Sly03?” Finn asked in the voice chat.  
  
“H-hi” a shy, masculine voice answered.  
  
“Hi Finn, long time no see. Found another dude while you were away so we could get a full team for when you’d come back” said Ninetails, one of Finn’s team mates. He was one of the first guys Finn had ever met when he started playing.  
  
“You make it sound like I’ve been away for two months.”  
  
“You are playing less and less. Zeromus and I were starting to get worried. It would be hard to replace a healer of your level, Finn.”  
  
Finn let out a little sigh. He was definitely playing less and less. The game was starting to get stale, and whenever he felt a rush of inspiration for his comic, he would work on it until he was starting to fall asleep while holding his pencil. It didn’t leave much time for gaming.  
  
“So are we going to keep chit chatting all night or are we going to finally beat this Naga fucker? Next update is in six weeks and we need that Steel Scale Armor if we want to do the new content right away. We missed the mark for the previous one, let’s not fuck it up this time.”  
  
Finn frowned. Naga was probably the hardest content in the game right now, and required extremely good coordination between team mates. Statistics on the game showed that only about 5% of the players’ total population had successfully completed the challenge. That wasn’t the kind of boss fight you’d expect to beat when you formed a new group, even if there was only one new guy.  
  
“Strat?”  
  
“Beat up this dumb ass until we reach Red Phase.”   
  
Finn hissed. “Seriously?” Out of the two strategies, it was the hardest to do, counting on maximizing damage while doing all the proper dodging and killing of the additional monsters in under five minutes. If the goal was reached, they would get into Red Phase, when the boss would be more vulnerable, but would also hit, much, much harder. Zeromus and Ninetails probably knew the fight by heart right now. Finn was a little behind, but he was a quick learner. He was mostly worried about the new guy.  
  
“Sly, is that cool with you?"  
  
“Y-yes.”  
  
Finn leaned back into his chair and stretched his arms above his head. “Let’s do this!” he declared in the microphone.  
  
The first tries were a complete disaster. Zeromus and he were giving their best at tanking and healing respectively, Finn thought, but Sly had trouble keeping his damage up while following the bosses’ attacks’ patterns. He focused on his own survival first and on damaging the boss second. This pissed off Ninetails, who had started calling out Sly in an angry tone on the voice chat.  
  
“Nine, a dead damage dealer equals zero damage” Finn said quietly, trying to defuse the growing tension.  
  
“He’s so terrible you won’t even be able to tell the difference.”  
  
Sly was awfully quiet in the voice chat. Finn could see he was trying to make up for it, taking more risks. Unfortunately, it resulted more often than not in his character dying.  
  
“Just stop resurrecting his ass, Finn” Ninetails said dryly. He was starting to get cocky, trying to compensate for Sly’s lack of damage. Finn clenched his jaw. It was what he liked the best, when things were going sour and he had to have his eyes everywhere to keep everyone alive. Even he couldn’t keep up when Ninetails started dying too, though.  
  
“And now you can’t raise me because all your mana was spent on Sly” Ninetails groaned.  
  
The party finally died moments later under Naga’s relentless attacks.  
  
“Maybe we should let Sly go and try to pick up someone else” Zeromus suggested. “It’s not working out, Finn.”  
  
“One more try, please. Our last try was much better, even if we wiped” Finn said quietly. Sly’s silence was worrisome. “Sly?”  
  
“Finn, face it, this dude is just a fucking retard.”   
  
Finn’s eyes widened. “The fuck did you just say, Nine?” he asked loudly, his voice shaking.   
  
“I’m just telling you the truth.”  
  
“Over the fucking line, Nine”  
  
“Didn’t know you were such a sensitive guy, Finn.”  
  
“Can we just… have the discussion on language after we beat this guy?” Zeromus said slowly, and Finn could almost hear him roll his eyes through the microphone. Finn rubbed his fingers over his eyes, barely believing it. He had lost touch with his team mates somewhere, he thought. They had reached the point where he didn’t care about the game and they themselves cared way, way too much. In a way, it was liberating. He hated that he had to wait for someone from his guild to insult a stranger for himself to realize it.  
  
“Okay guys, not working out. Nines, you’re pissed off and you pissed me off. Good night you all. Let’s talk about it tomorrow.” Finn exited the vocal chat, and shut down the program, keeping them from calling him back. In the game, Finn saw that they had kicked him and Sly out of the group.  
  
“Sorry about that. I hope you’ll find a better group to learn the fight” Finn typed to Sly.  
  
“I’m the one who is sorry. Didn’t know the strat well enough” Sly sent back.  
  
“Doesn’t excuse them calling you a retard. Good luck with that guy. I have to go.”  
  
“I think I’m done for tonight too. Good night and thank you” Sly sent, before disconnecting.  
  
Finn let his headphones drop on the drawer. The apartment was completely silent. He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, next to BB-8 who had curled himself into a ball and fallen asleep, waiting for his master’s return. The dog looked up at him.  
  
“Sounds like you’re not going to be alone tonight, after all.” The dog blinked at him.  
  
Finn checked the time on his watch. 8:30 PM. When did the show start again? Was it 8 or 9 PM? He got up to grab one of the flyers that were left on the coffee table. 9 PM it was. He still had time to make it if he ran fast enough. He looked down at his clothes. Plain tee-shirt, plain jeans, old sneakers. Was there going to be a dress code? He doubted Kylo played in a fancy theater.  
  
“BB-8, do you mind if I leave you alone this evening after all?”  
  
The dog sighed and went back to sleep. Finn took that as a no.

 

Poe almost ran to him as soon as he pushed the theater’s door. Before he had the time to fully take in the situation, Poe had circled his waist with his left arm and was kissing his cheek, his lips warm and soft against his skin.   
  
“Mrs. Organa is here” Poe whispered to Finn’s ear. Finn peeked to the side of Poe’s head and noticed that their landlady was waving at him a few meters behind Poe, holding a glass of red wine.  
  
“So happy you could free yourself, Finn” Poe said cheerfully, his hands over Finn’s chest. He was smiling warmly at him. Their faces were only a few inches apart, and Poe was looking at him directly in the eyes, sparkles in his dark brown eyes. He had gotten really good at the pretend-boyfriend thing, Finn thought. He looked down from Poe’s eyes and noticed the color of Poe’s cheeks. That, or maybe Poe was just drunk.  
  
Poe took Finn’s hand, and the two of them went towards the rest of the group. Rey was standing on Mrs. Organa’s right, and Jess and Snap were on her left. All of them were drinking. Finn figured that he should probably get a drink before witnessing Kylo’s masterpiece, but he was cut by Mrs. Organa.  
  
“Good evening, Finn” she said, and she slightly lowered her head before him.   
  
“I am glad that you could join us for my son’s… performance” she continued, her mouth twisting downwards as she said the last word. Rey reached out to her and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s probably not going to be as terrible as you think” she said, forcing herself to smile at her aunt.  
  
“It starts in five minutes” Snap indicated, looking at his watch. “Let’s get going.” Jessika emptied her drink in one go, and let out a long breath. “I’m ready, now” she declared as she put the glass on the counter.  
  
Finn didn’t have a ticket, but they allowed him in anyway, explaining briefly that there wasn’t a lot of spectators tonight. Indeed, Finn only counted eighteen people, including their little group. The others were in groups of two or three, all wearing way too much make up around their eyes, hair either bleached or dyed jet black, dressed in tight black tee shirt or pants or in black lace skirt and dresses.  
  
“Kylo should have told us about the dress code” Finn whispered jokingly to Poe, sitting at his right.  
  
“I know, right? We could have gone shopping together. I bet black lace would look lovely on you” he said, before laughing at Finn’s embarrassed expression.  
Finn looked at his left. Rey and Mrs. Organa were sitting next to each other, and Rey had put her hand over her aunt’s. Mrs. Organa was staring at the stage, apprehension in her eyes.  
  
Suddenly, the sound of thunder erupted into the theater, making Finn jump on his seat and springing’s everyone attention back to the stage. There was grey smoke everywhere, and from it emerged seven hooded figures, wearing shiny, full chrome masks.  
  
“There’s been an awakening. Have you felt it?” one of the hooded figures said in a cavernous voice, stepping out of the group. The figure raised their arms above their head, and the other figures dropped down to the floor, before crawling to the figure’s feet. “Fear” one of the hooded figures said, briefly rearing their head, voice hoarse, before breathing in loudly. “Anger” answered the one next to them, in the same hoarse voice and with the same loud inhale.  
  
“Hate.”  
  
“Suffering.”  
  
“Fear” started one of the figures again. “Anger” continued the one next to it, while the one out of the group had his arms still raised above them, closing and opening their hands as if they were trying to catch the dissipating smoke.  
  
Finn leaned back into his seat. This was going to be a long night.   
  
Leia was sitting upright in a chair in the hall, staring blankly at her knees, clutching on her half-empty glass of wine. They had more or less all gathered around her, and Rey was holding her aunt’s hand.  
  
“I thought this was going to be worse, really!” Rey reassured. “The bit with the katana was pretty interesting.”  
  
“I wanted to understand him better. This only raised more questions.”  
  
She finished her glass of red wine. “What did it have to end with Ben naked and getting sprayed with red paint by these… knights of Ren?” she asked, voice cracking.  
  
They all winced as the image of the show’s grand finale popped back into their head. “I’m going to need more alcohol” Snap declared, and everyone but Rey and her aunt followed him at the counter. Finn and Poe took an extra glass for Rey and Mrs. Organa.  
  
“Thank you” the two women said together, and they emptied their glasses in one go.  
  
“What’s wrong with watercolors?” she muttered to herself.  
  
There was the sound of clothing brushing against the wooden floor, and they all turned around to see one of the hooded figures previously on stage. They removed their mask, revealing the face of Kylo, still smeared in red paint.  
Mrs. Organa gasped.  
  
“Mother, I am not expecting you to understand”, Kylo said solemnly, looking down at her mother.  
  
“But I appreciate that you came to see our piece.” She tentatively looked up at him. They stared at each other in silence, mouths twisted downwards, and then Mrs. Organa’s shoulders sagged, and she released her grip on her glass.  
  
“You are right, I do not understand, but I appreciate that you let me try to, for once” she said softly, and there was a shadow of a smile on her face.  
Ren’s eyes widened, and he pushed his head back. “W-well, I shall go back with the Knights now, mother” he said hastily, before putting his mask on and turning around towards the other hooded figures gathered on the other side of the hall.  
  
“Enough for today” Mrs. Organa whispered. She stood up and left the hall, her little group following behind her.  
  
Finn, Poe, Rey and Mrs. Organa had parted ways with Snap and Jessika at the subway station, and they walked the few hundred meters separating them from home. It was almost midnight, and the only sounds that could be heard in the quiet neighborhood were their footsteps on the sidewalk. Finn and Poe were walking in front, Poe holding Finn’s hand tightly. His hand was warm, contrasting with the cold breeze that had started to blow into the night and was brushing against his bare arms. He had run to the theater without even taking a coat.  
  
“Are you cold?” Poe asked. Before Finn could even answer, Poe was taking off his jacket and put it over Finn’s shoulders. Poe wasn’t really giving him a choice, but the jacket was warm, and Finn didn’t have the heart to say no.  
  
“Good” Poe whispered as Finn put the jacket on, closing it to preserve the warmth. Poe took Finn’s hand back into his, and glanced at Rey and Mrs. Organa. Finn turned around to see they were smiling at them both, but that   
Mrs. Organa was shooting at Poe a piercing gaze, the one she would always throw at them whenever they met her in the hallway. Seemingly satisfied, her expression softened, and he looked to see Poe smiling back at her.   
Right, it was for the pretend boyfriend thing, Finn thought, and for the first time he felt a slight pinch in his chest, not quite understanding why.  
  
They said their farewells to Rey and Mrs. Organa at the front door of their apartment, after the two women politely declined a cup of coffee. He watched them climb down the stairs, Rey turning around and winking at him right before disappearing from his field of vision.  
  
“Finn,” Poe began as he was unlocking the door, but they were interrupted by Poe’s phone ringtone. Specifically, by that ringtone, the piano melody that made Poe drop anything that he could be doing to leave the building and answer the call. Finn had subconsciously started to hate it, and how it seemed to suck the joy out of Poe’s face.  
  
Finn opened the door and was greeted by BB-8, jumping on his trousers, waggling his tail and barking.  
  
“Shhh, it’s late, BB”, Finn hushed, patting the head of the dog. BB-8 went past Finn and started sniffing the floor, stopping at the stairs leading to the exit. He glanced back up at Finn, slowly moving his tail, ears perched.   
  
“BB, come back in. We need to leave Poe alone. He’ll be back soon.”  
  
BB-8 lowered his ears and slowly strutted back into the apartment. “Yeah, I hate them to. Whoever they are.”  
  
Finn tossed and turned for fifteen minutes in his bed before giving up and turning the light back on. He sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed the first comic book, staring more at the pages than really reading it. His attention was turned to the sounds around him, waiting for Poe to come back. He heard first the back door opening and closing. Then there was Poe’s footsteps below, followed by the creaking of the wooden stairs. The front door opened, BB-8’s paws clicked on the floor and he barked to welcome his master. “Shh, good dog, missed you too” Finn heard him say softly to his dog. The footsteps continued towards Poe’s bedroom door.  
Finn dropped his comic book in surprise as Poe knocked softly on his door.  
  
“Finn? Are you asleep?” Poe said very quietly.  
  
“Y-yes! I mean, no!” Finn blurted out, before pressing his palm on his forehead.  
  
“Can I come in?”  
  
“Of course.”  
  
Finn patted the edge of the bed on his right, inviting Poe to sit down. Poe stared down at his knees for a few seconds. He opened his mouth, closed it, and shook his head. Then he put on the best smile he could on his face, and turned to Finn.  
  
“I’ve been wanting to ask you… Did something happen with your Internet friends?”  
  
Finn had completely forgotten about that.  
  
“Yeah… Sort off. We were doing this thing… and one of my friends acted like a complete jerk to a guy who was new to our group.”  
  
“Sorry.”  
  
Finn shrugged. “Don’t be. I wasn’t into the game as they were, or as I used to be anymore. The webcomic is going great, I think, and I’m on it if I’m not working or hanging out with you guys. I have to start making priorities, and it was starting to get to the bottom of the list before that.”  
Poe chuckled. “You’re growing old, Finn.”  
  
Finn grimaced, and Poe gave him a little push on his shoulder. “It’s not that bad! It comes with bits of wisdom and grey hair. With my luck, you’re going to get all the wisdom and I’m going to get all the grey hair.”  
Poe raised up a lock of dark hair from over his ear. “Look, it has already begun!” he laughed, but there was a sadness in Poe’s eyes, that made him look older than whatever grey hair he could have, Finn thought. The smile on Poe’s face faded in the silence, and he was back at staring glassy-eyed at his knees. Finn watched him bite his lower lip, swallow, and slam the tip of his fingers on his thigh.  
  
“Well if you’re good, no need for me to keep you awake. Good night, Finn”, he whispered, standing up. He had put on a smile on his face again, the one he did whenever he wanted to tell Finn that he was fine, really, and that usually followed one of these damned phone calls. Finn imagined himself standing up as well, grabbing on Poe and asking him to talk to him, or at the very least tell him that he was there for him.  
  
But Poe had already closed the door behind him.


	3. Gatherings

The next morning, Poe had been back to his old, cheerful self, flipping pancakes and moving his hips in rhythm with the song airing on the radio. There, nothing to worry about, Finn told himself as Poe turned around and wished him a good morning.  
  
Once Finn stepped out of the house and into the cool morning air, the memory of the previous night came back to him, worry nesting its way into his chest, and Finn only realized two subway stations later that he had been going in the wrong direction.  
  
“You are late” Phasma remarked in her usual cold, neutral tone. She stood in front of Finn, towering over him, lips pinched. “Is there something wrong, Finn?”  
  
“No, nothing, I-I just took the subway in the opposite direction.”  
  
“This is unusual. You were lacking in concentration.” She tilted her head to the side, squinting her eyes. “Do you have any personal problems?”  
  
“Not really. I mean – I think my roommate is having a problem, and I wish he would share it with me, because I think it would help him feel better. Or I wish it would.”  
  
“If your roommate keeps distracting you, the room above the shop is still free” she answered, trying her best to sound compassionate and failing miserably. Finn shrugged. What was he expecting, really? Sharing his relationship issues with Phasma out of all people?  
  
“I’ll just get back to work” he said hastily, before turning around and checking the aisles.  
  
The worry in his chest started to go away as the days went on, and as everyone fell back into the old routine. Finn drawing and giving a drawing lesson to Rey every other evening. Poe writing down music or lyrics every time he was struck by a bolt of inspiration, leaving everywhere in their apartment. Snap and Jessika showing up twice a week to share a drink or two, and treating them to their best work stories from their paintball shop. Kylo had even started showing up from time to time, under various pretenses, and always ended up sticking around longer than necessary. Finn had theorized that all of them watching his piece had broken some sort of invisible barrier Kylo had put between himself and the others. He only wished they all didn’t have to see more of Kylo’s anatomy than they ever wanted to for this to happen.  
  
The best nights were whenever Poe would grab his guitar and sing them a song, Rey sometimes tentatively joining him. Finn usually didn’t recognize them, and Poe would glare at him before shoving him a bunch of CDs and order that he filled his music player with them. Even with a non-existent musical culture, he could tell that Poe was good, great even. He loved to watch his fingers dance quickly over the cords. He loved his voice, more high-pitched that he had expected it to be relatively to Poe’s talking voice, and how he managed to hit what sounded like impossibly high notes, sending shivers down Finn’s spine.  
  
Finn wished he could draw as well as Poe could sing.  
  
“Why don’t you sing us one of your own songs, Poe?” Jessika had asked one night, grinning.  
  
Poe had lowered his gaze, the tips of his fingers tapping nervously the body of his guitar. “It’s not ready yet” he muttered.  
  
“Fuck, Poe, with you it’s never ever ready!”  
  
“I have a good feeling about it this time, Jess. Give me more time and it’ll be great.”  
  
Jess groaned loudly. “Fucking perfectionists” she said to Snap, before Poe started playing another song, cutting the discussion off.  
  
The worst nights were whenever they were interrupted by this stupid, annoying ringtone. It would be funny to see everyone’s face wincing at the same time, if it wasn’t followed by Poe leaving the room, eyes full of worry and lips pinched. He would look at Jessika and Snap and realized all he had to do to satiate his curiosity would be to ask them. However, it just felt wrong to him to ask it behind Poe’s back, and he wasn’t sure how knowing was going to improve Poe’s situation in any way. He would let out a deep sigh, and offer another round of beer to the assistance. Back in the kitchen, he would take a peek at the garden through the window, looking at Poe on the phone, walking in circle and scratching his head. He should just man the fuck up and tell him he was worried about him, about the piano person, whoever they were; but there was a little voice in his head suggested that maybe, as usual, he was fooling himself into believing Poe liked him as much as Finn liked Poe. So Finn would let it slide every time, and the next day Poe would be as cheerful as ever and it would be quickly forgotten.

 

BB-8 greeted him at the door, the dog jumping on him and doing his little barks, requesting to be patted on the head. Finn kneeled down and scratched the dog behind its ears. They were interrupted by the sound of cardboard boxes falling on the kitchen floor. BB-8 turned around to check what had happened, Finn on its heels.  
  
Poe had let boxes of frozen food drop from a grocery bag to the floor. “Hey, Finn!” he said, looking up from the floor. His skin was red around his eyes, and Finn’s heart fell down in his chest. He rushed to Poe’s side.  
  
“What happened?”  
  
“We’re throwing a party!” he answered cheerfully, as if it explained everything.  
  
“What? Since when?”  
  
“About forty minutes ago?”  
  
Finn put a hand on his forehead. Poe was grinning, piling up boxes of appetizers and frozen junk food on the kitchen table. “Okay, why are we throwing a party?”  
  
“It’s a breaking up party.”  
  
Finn’s eyes widened. “I’m not breaking up with you!” Poe justified, sounding mildly offended.  
  
“I mean, if I ever break up with someone, my first reaction wouldn’t be, let’s throw a party” Finn explained. He regretted saying that as soon as the words came out of his mouth. His only break-up related experience was when he got rejected by Mitch Hawkins in eleventh grade. He did remember that the last thing he wanted was to throw a goddamn party.  
  
Poe rubbed a finger under his left eye. “Well, it’s mine. It’s a reasonable reaction. If you knew my ex-boyfriend, you’d understand.” There was a bitterness in his voice that Finn didn’t like, and he decided against asking for more details. Poe closed his eyes for a few seconds, and a grin blossomed on his face when he looked at Finn. “I’m fine. I’ll feel even better when we get down to the drinking and dancing.”  
  
Finn was on his sixth drink and everyone else had stopped counting. Jessika had brought her wireless speaker with her, and she had taken over the musical program of the evening. “Vaporwave!” she yelled as a catchy electronic song started playing. “It’s the sound of the future, Finn!” she said joyfully, before jumping in the middle of the living room and improvising a choreography made up of seemingly random arm moves and hips shaking in rhythm with the music. Poe downed another vodka shot and joined Jessika, dancing alongside her, perfectly in sync with the beat and with each other.  
  
“Is there anything this man can’t do?” he whispered, his gaze falling on Poe’s hips. Rey kicked him in the ribs with her elbow. “Come on, go with him!”  
  
“I can’t dance!”  
  
“That’s not an excuse!”  
  
She put her drink down and dragged him by the arm in the middle of the room.   
  
She left him in front of Poe, turning her attention to Jessika. The two women started dancing together while Finn stood there awkwardly. It seemed like his friend hadn’t even noticed him, eyes closed, deeply focused on his dancing.  
  
“I don’t know how to dance” he said shyly to Poe. Poe opened his eyes, dark and big and sparkling, and he ran his tongue over his lower lip. “I can show it to you if you want to” he told him, a mischievous smile blossoming on his lips. Finn couldn’t help but but nod, and Poe went behind Finn, putting a hand on Finn’s hip, gently guiding his moves.  
  
“Good. Now just let the music run through your body” he whispered in his ear, before removing his hand. Finn did as he was told, closing his eyes to hear the music better. He heard Poe chuckle behind him. Finn turned his head, and Poe was giving him his contagious, trademark smile, and Finn’s chest was filled with warmth. Even with Poe’s advice, Finn was far from good, and he kept bumping awkwardly into either Jessika or Poe. Rey fared much better than him, moving smoothly, nearly brushing Jessika but never bumping into her somehow. He heard hands clapping and looked at Snap and Mrs. Organa, cheering on them. Hell, even Kylo seemed into it, expression neutral but discreetly tapping his finger on his knee in rhythm.  
  
The song ended, and before Finn could do or say anything and Jessika rushed to her music player to put another one on. Before Finn could do or say anything, she had started dancing again, drawing Poe, Rey and Finn with her.  
  
Poe opened the kitchen window. A welcomed cool air started to spread into the room. He took a cigarette out of his pack and lighted it up.  
  
“I thought you had stopped smoking” Finn said, standing next to Poe. The alcohol was starting to make his belly ache, and he hoped the cool air would make him feel a bit better.  
  
“This one’s special. It’s for when there’s something worth celebrating.” He leaned on the window frame, right next to Finn, arms brushing. He slowly puffed on his cigarette, eyes closed. He kept his mouth shut for a few seconds, before exhaling slowly. The residential neighborhood was built on a small hill, and they could see the lights of the city center shining brightly into the night from the window. It was such a cliché, but Finn felt as if their group were the only people still awake in the world.  
  
“I have something to show you” Poe said, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket. He showed to Finn the picture of a red-haired man, blue eyes and skin pale, a faint smile on his thin lips.  
  
“Do you know what you find in the dictionary at the definition for “asshole?”  
  
“A picture of him?”  
  
“No. You find the definition for the word “asshole”, which he fucking is”, Poe answered, letting anger pierce through his voice. Finn didn’t like the frown on Poe’s face, but it was better than the sadness in his traits whenever the guy used to call him.  
  
“He cheated on me. And yet I would crawl back to him like an idiot, I would believe him each time when he said he wouldn’t do it again. Truth is, he was probably getting off of me being desperate to get back with him.” Poe’s voice was cracking, and he puffed on his cigarette again. “And now I’m getting rid of him forever, but I need a witness. Be my witness, Finn.”  
  
Finn nodded, not quite understanding why he needed a witness.  
  
“Good.” Poe navigated inside his picture folder, showing to Finn several pictures of him with the guy, and Finn’s stomach turned on himself in his abdomen. He selected them and deleted them.   
  
“Barcelona… gone. New York? There, gone. London…” Poe’s eyes widened, and he held the phone against his chest. “Can’t show you these ones. You’re too pure”. Finn felt blood rise up to his cheeks. I might not have had a serious relationship but he definitely had an Internet connection. He wasn’t pure in the slightest. But seeing Poe close to the guy had been enough to worsen his stomach ache, so it was probably for the best.  
  
Poe finished deleting the pictures. “And now, the contact info” and he loaded up the guy’s profile. He scrolled down, lips pinched, and pressed the   
“ringtone” button. The piano song was heard once more, and Poe’s eyes were starting to fill with tears. Finn put his hand over Poe’s wrist, his fingers squeezing it gently. Poe took a deep breath, and deleted the phone number.  
  
“Thank you, Finn” he said softly, a weak smile on his lips.  
  
“You’re welcome.”  
  
He heard a feminine voice singing behind him, and Finn turned around to see Jessika, Rey and Mrs. Organa hunched over Rey’s laptop. Rey had tangled her fingers in Jessika’s hair, apparently attempting to tie them in a braid. The three of them seemed to be singing along a video playing on the laptop. It was a foreign song, but Finn had no idea which language it was. Finn also spotted Snap and Kylo discussing in the corner of the room, though it was more Kylo talking while making wide hand moves and Snap listening while petting BB-8 in his arms.  
  
Poe chuckled. _“Ochi chyornye”_  
  
“What?”  
  
“ _Ochi chyornye_. Dark Eyes. It’s Russian » Poe clarified. "I told you she was Russian nobility!"  
  
That wasn’t really an evidence for anything, Finn thought. They listened to the song together, looking at the landscape in front of them. Finn found the song beautiful, even if he couldn’t understand it.  
  
“Finn” Poe said suddenly, looking at Finn. His eyes were wide open, their color making them bigger than they actually were. There was a clear smile on his lips now, and Finn felt again a warmth spreading in his chest.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
Poe didn’t answer immediately. He kept on looking at him, smiling. He opened his mouth, and a sound nearly escaped his lips. He seemed to change his mind at the last minute, taking one last puff out of his cigarette. “Nothing” he sighed, looking back at the horizon.


	4. Battles

Poe hung out the phone and turned his attention to Rey and Finn, sitting on the couch.  
  
“I have bad news” he declared, frowning.  
  
“It’s cancelled?” Rey asked. Finn watched her disappointment dawn on her face.  
  
Poe shook his head. “Karé broke her wrist yesterday. We’re one person short for paint ball this afternoon.”  
  
“But that doesn’t mean it’s cancelled?” Finn asked. Rey gazed at Poe, hopeful.  
  
“Of course not! But we had planned a three versus three game, so it’s a bit bothersome.” Poe sat on the arm of the armchair. “Snap did suggest something. We could bring Kylo with us.”  
  
Rey rolled her eyes.  
  
“But we don’t have to if you don’t want to” Poe continued.  
  
She put her head on her closed fists, brows furrowed, lips pinched.  
  
“Ok, let’s ask him” she said, resigned, after a minute of thinking.  
  
“Sure?” Finn asked her, worried.  
  
“Yes, I’m sure.”  
  
She knocked on the door of the apartment downstairs.  
  
“Who’s there?”  
  
“The tooth fairy” Rey answered dryly.  
  
There was the sound of several locks being opened, and Kylo Ren opened the door. He was wearing the same welder helmet Finn had seen him with the first time.  
  
“Oh, it’s just you, Rey.”  
  
“The hell do you think she was?” Finn exclaimed.  
  
Rey had crossed her arms on her chest, a stern look on her face as she tried to look into Kylo’s eyes (which was difficult to do, with all the dust on the helmet’s visor).  
  
“We need an extra guy for paintball. You in?” she asked dryly.  
  
“So, you need me, Rey. I could of course accept, but it won’t go without a price.”  
  
Rey clenched her jaw. Finn looked up at Poe, who was looking up at him. He   
had no idea what to do, either.  
  
“What is your price?”  
  
“You know it very well.”  
  
Rey wrinkled her nose. “I have another offer. We’ll play against each other. You win, I accept your proposition. I win, you leave me alone about it.”  
  
She reached her hand to him. Kylo hesitated.  
  
“You have a head start on this” he remarked. Poe gave Finn a questioning look, but Finn shrugged, ignoring what Kylo was talking about.  
  
“If it’s my destiny, as you keep saying so, it shouldn’t matter, right?” she replied with a mischievous grin.  
  
“Are you sure you know what you are doing, Rey?” Poe intervened. Rey’s grin widened. “Absolutely.”  
  
Kylo remained silent for a dozen seconds or so, before reaching out his hand to Rey. “Deal.”  
  
Rey shook his hand. “Deal. Now please take off that helmet and go get ready. Jessika and Snap pick us up at 2:00 PM.”  
  
“So, do you want to explain a little bit what’s going with you and Kylo?” Finn asked after they sat down for lunch.  
  
“Kylo is interested by my drawings, and what he calls my artistic awakening” Rey began, toying with her spaghetti. “He wants me to join the Knights of Ren.”  
  
Poe choked on his food, and Finn gave him a few punches in his back.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked, voice cracking.  
  
Rey shrugged. “If I beat him at paint ball, I’m also ninety percent sure he won’t ask me again. It was my chance and I had to take it. Besides, if I had refused for him to come with us, Jessika would have been disappointed.”  
  
Poe grinned at her, and Finn noticed that Rey’s cheeks turned red.  
  
“So, we better win this”, Rey declared, before attacking the contents of her plate.  
  
“First of all, we’re going to teach you the basic stuff” Jessika explained after they arrived at the field. They all sat down on the grass, next to large wooden panels covered in paint spots.  
  
Jessika’s exposé lasted half an hour, describing at great length the different parts of the gun and how to use it, and insisting on the safe paintball practices. Then, she handed protective gear and guns to Finn, Rey and Kylo.  
  
“Can I pick the red paint balls?” Kylo asked, hopeful, as he put the protective mask on. Jessika winced. “What’s with you and red?” she asked.  
  
“It’s vibrant.”  
  
“Before we pick the colors, we need to make the teams, first.”  
  
“I’m going with Finn” Rey and Poe declared together, each of them grabbing Finn by one arm.  
  
“That was fast” Snap chuckled.  
  
“Rey, you’re not sure you want to team up with Snap and Jessika instead?   
You’d get better odds”, Finn whispered to her. She pressed herself a little closer to Finn’s arm. “I’m not playing against you. Trust me on this, Finn, I know what I’m doing.”  
  
“I guess you’re coming with us, Kylo” Jessika said, resigned.  
  
“We will do beautiful things today, Jessika” Kylo replied.  
  
Before they could start playing, they had to learn how to shoot correctly. Jessika led them towards a makeshift shooting range, composed of a long, thin log on the ground about eight meters away from wooden panels.  
  
Finn wasn’t any good at first. “You’re holding it wrong” Poe explained calmly, and he put himself behind Finn, covering his hands with his.   
  
“Good, now move your legs a little bit” and he put a hand over his, encouraging him to spread his legs a little more. “Don’t be so stiff.” His voice was soft and soothing, relieving a bit of Finn’s nervousness. He clenched his jaw and aimed at the center of the wooden panel.  
  
“Yeah, that’s the stuff!” Poe yelled behind him, before giving him a pat on the back. “We’re all set to save Rey, now” he whispered. Finn looked at Rey, shooting the target next to them.  
  
“Rey, you totally did paintball before” Jessika declared, arms crossed,   
watching Rey hit the center of the target every time.  
  
“Aunt Leia taught me how to use firearms back when we lived in New Mexico. To fend off the coyotes” Rey explained.  
  
“And Kylo didn’t?”  
  
“He was never very interested. More of a blade guy, as you know.”  
  
“Well, I bet he regrets it now” Snap said. He was watching over Kylo, who seemed to miss the target a lot. He groaned in frustration.  
  
“Hey hey, easy now” Snap said. “You’re never going to get anything done if you’re mad.”  
  
“All right, folks” Jessika declared after a few more minutes. “Let’s get this thing started.”  
  
They left the shooting range to enter the playing field. It was a large, wooded area, peppered with large rocks, remnants of brick walls and wooden walls, which could all be used for cover or for hiding.  
  
“Poe, Finn, Rey, your flag is over there” Jessika explained, pointing southwards. “Kylo, come with us.”  
  
“See you soon, Rey” he said solemnly.  
  
“Can’t wait to beat your ass, Ben” Rey answered cheerfully.  
  
“The rules are simple”, Poe began as they walked towards their base. “All we have to do is take their flag and bring it to our base before they do the same with ours.”  
  
Their blue flag was hanging from a dead tree, near a half-demolished concrete wall. “Let’s spread out from there. Finn, go to my left, Rey, go to my right. I’ll cover the middle of our field.”  
  
“Got it” Rey answered, before running towards the right. Finn waved at Poe before leaving in his turn.  
  
“Is everyone ready?” Jessika yelled at the top of her lungs.  
  
“Game on, Jess!” Poe yelled back, and a horn blowing was heard from the over side of the forest.  
  
Finn crouched and slowed down, carefully stepping between the dead twigs. He looked up to see that Poe was about ten meters to his right, hidden behind a large tree. Poe spotted him as well. Very slowly, he turned his head to look at something ahead. Finn looked into his direction, and noticed a figure jogging in their direction. Jess, Finn thought. Poe gestured to Finn to move. Finn started walking backwards, taking cover behind a huge rock. Poe made a little “o” with his fingers.  
  
Jessika had stopped jogging and was now walking very slowly, reminiscing Finn of a panther stalking her prey before pouncing on it. She seemed to have noticed Poe, but she hadn’t looked in Finn’s direction. He clenched his weapon. Poe spotted him as well. Very slowly, he turned his head to look at something ahead. Finn looked into his direction, and noticed a figure jogging in their direction. Jess, Finn thought. Poe gestured to Finn to move. Finn started walking backwards, taking cover behind a huge rock, head sticking out. Poe made a little “o” with his fingers.  
  
Jessika had stopped jogging and was now walking very slowly, reminiscing Finn of a panther stalking her prey before pouncing on it. She seemed to have noticed Poe, but she hadn’t looked in Finn’s direction. Poe was standing very still behind his tree. He gave a quick nod to Finn.  
  
Aim. Fire.  
  
The ball failed to hit Jessika, instead exploding at her feet, staining the leaves in blue. Finn ducked behind the rock, and he heard the sound of the paintball gun firing.  
  
“God damn it, Poe!” Jessika roared. Finn left his cover to witness Jessika lying on the floor, a huge spot of blue paint on her chest. Poe lowered his gun.  
  
“It’s over, Jess, I have the high ground!” he yelled cheerfully.  
  
“Fuck me, I got caught like a fucking beginner” she moaned, before sitting on the floor.  
  
“Or maybe we’re just that good.” Poe turned his attention to Finn. “Good job, buddy. Now let’s go get Rey. We have the advantage, time for a strategy change.”  
  
The two men crouched down and went eastward. They spotted Rey quickly, hidden behind a fallen tree trunk.  
  
“I presume you got Jessika” Rey told them. “I saw Snap and Kylo not far away from them. I think they saw me too, and they’re trying to circle me to take me out.”  
  
“Good thing we’re here then” Poe answered. He placed a finger before his mouth. All Finn could hear was his own loud breath under the helmet and the sound of the breeze among the leaves.  
  
Then, there was a series of clicks. Finn watched in horror as the tree right behind them was stained in red.  
  
Poe had immediately turned around and started firing in the direction of the noise. Rey and Finn imitated him. Soon Poe’s hopper was empty. Their opponent had stopped firing too, probably suffering from the same problem as Poe.  
  
“Retreat!” Poe ordered as he was filling his hopper with new balls. He and Rey walked backwards toward their base, shooting rounds of paint before them. Poe changed his cover spot from the tree trunk to an empty fuel barrel. He gestured to his team mates to keep running, and started firing cover rounds. Finn grabbed Rey’s hand and they started running straight ahead. They didn’t know how many opponents were firing at them, Finn thought. Maybe it was just a distraction so the other would run to their flag.  
  
He heard a muffled cry, and Finn turned around to see Poe lying on the ground, red paint smeared all over his clothes.  
  
“Poe!” Finn yelled. Rey tugged on his arm. There was a tall figure in front of Poe. “Kylo” Rey said, before aiming and shooting at him. Kylo backed down, retreating behind a large pile of bricks.  
  
“Rey, Snap is probably on his way to our flag. Let’s go.”  
  
He let Rey run ahead of him, covering her, but Kylo didn’t leave his safe spot. They gathered near the flag, behind a holly bush. Rey was nervously looking over the bush, clutching her weapon. Finn felt sweat running from his forehead to his face. He resisted the urge to remove his mask and wipe it off.  
  
“What do we do now?” Rey asked, still staring at the trees in front of her.  
  
“They have an edge over us now. I mean, you’re a great shot, but we’re both new to this.”  
  
“And?” Rey asked dryly.  
  
“We could let one of them come to our flag and ambush him. It worked on Jess.”  
  
“You think it will work on Snap?”  
  
“Worth a try. Besides, we’re running short on options here.”  
  
Rey didn’t answer immediately. “Okay, I trust you” she finally said, tension breaking through her voice.  
  
They got away from the immediate proximity of the flag. Finn turned around towards Rey. She was laying on her stomach, dead leaves sticking in her hair. She had propped her gun over a small rock.  
  
“I’ll go to the other side” Finn explained before running as fast as he could towards a thick tree. He took cover behind it. They waited in silence for a few minutes, trying to hear or see if someone was coming towards their flag.  
  
Snap emerged from out of the woods. He looked around, probably expecting to get ambushed. Rey tightened her grip on her weapon. Snap was running from cover to cover, creeping towards their flag. He picked it up, clutching it against his chest. He spotted Rey as she was adjusting her aim. He started firing in her direction, but she had rolled on herself, and quick as lightning, she was running towards the opposite team’s base, unloading her gun at him. Snap was fast too. He ducked her shots, and followed her while firing.  
  
“Time to be a hero” he muttered to himself, before following Snap.  
  
Rey was hiding behind a wooden panel, the top of her head and the tip of her barrel peeking out. She kept on firing rounds in Snap’s direction. She had cover, but Finn noticed she couldn’t see exactly where Snap was, and Snap used it to advance farther and farther towards her position.   
Rey ran out of ammo, and stopped firing to reload. Snap took the opportunity to run towards her.  
  
Finn aimed his gun and shot him in the back. Snap let himself fall on his face and dropped the flag. Rey left her hiding spot, gun lowered. Finn walked towards her.  
  
“Finn!” she yelled in horror.  
  
Finn heard the sound of a paintball unloading, and felt the ball hitting his back, hard, making him trip on a tree root. A bolt of pain jolted from his ankle, making him wince. He looked up from the ground to see a pair of black boots next to his face. He gazed at Rey, who was hiding behind the wooden panel again. He crouched down next to Snap and grabbed the flag.  
  
If Kylo took the flag back to his base, they would lose.  
  
If Kylo shot Rey, they would lose.  
  
In short, they were fucked.  
  
Kylo ran into the woods, Rey following behind her. She was barely taking the time to aim, firing wildly at him. Finn could almost imagine her face behind the mask; jaw clenched and a fire in her eyes. Finn sat up. His right ankle protested, and Finn hissed under his mask. He pulled most of his body weight on his left leg. Snap had stood up as well, leaning against a tree, watching the duel between Rey and Kylo.  
  
Both of them moved quickly, doing their best to dodge while firing and moving towards the other. Kylo’s size was giving in an advantage, but Rey was quicker. Soon the trees and the obstacles were stained in red and blue. Neither of them managed to hit the other. Finn clenched his fist. It was so hard to be there without being able to intervene.  
  
“They need to settle this alone” Snap declared gravely. Finn creased his eyebrows. Was he aware of the deal between Kylo and Rey?  
  
Kylo had stopped firing to reload the hopper, but surprisingly enough, Rey hadn’t seemed to take the opportunity to shoot Kylo. In fact, Rey seemed to have disappeared.  
  
Kylo clutched his weapon, and put his finger on the trigger. He took cover, turning his head in all directions.   
  
Finn heard the sound of a rock being thrown against metal. He and Kylo turned their heads to the right, where Finn had spotted a rusty metallic plate placed against a stump. Before him, he heard the sound of a gun being unloaded.  
  
Kylo dropped the flag and the gun, attempting to cover his head from the barrage of blue balls hitting him and covering him in paint.  
  
Rey walked towards him triumphantly. She picked up the flag. “Can I bring this bad boy where it belongs?” she asked Snap.  
  
Snap chuckled. “Game’s already over, but sure, knock yourself out.”  
Kylo was lying on his back, arms stretched out. He was laughing almost maniacally under the helmet.  
  
“You okay, dude?” Snap asked, crouching next to him.  
  
“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ve never been this fine in a long time.” He removed his helmet and looked at the blue paint staining him from head to toe. He had another fit of laughter.  
  
“Come on, Finn!” Rey yelled at him. Finn followed her, walking carefully to avoid any obstacles on his path, putting only the slightest amount of pressure on his right leg. He smiled proudly as Rey tucked back their flag on the dead tree. She even did a little pose, hands on her hips. Then, she gazed at Finn, and she let her arms fall against her body.

“Finn! You’re hurt!” she yelled. She ran towards him, removing her helmet.   
  
He had been standing on his left leg, right foot hovering a few centimeters over the ground.  
  
“Err, sort of?” Finn replied. He removed his helmet as well. Rey had forcibly put his arm over her shoulder. She was shorter than him, so it was a bit awkward, but she insisted on letting her support him.   
  
“Sorry about that” Kylo mumbled.  
  
“It’s cool. I’m sure it’s nothing. Look, Rey, I feel better already!”  
  
Finn let his right foot on the floor. He made a few steps, and while he could stand, he winced every time he put his body weight on the right leg.  
  
“No, you don’t”, Rey declared, before putting Finn’s arm back over her shoulders.  
  
Jessika and Poe were waiting for them back at the entrance of the playfield. They had prepared snacks and soft drinks on the picnic tables. Poe was laughing with Jessika, hair tousled from wearing the helmet, sweat dropping from his forehead. His laughter faded as soon as he saw Finn leaning on Rey.  
  
“It’s fine, my ankle just hurt a little” he said sheepishly. Poe had relieved Rey and was helping Finn walk towards one of the benches. Finn sat down with a sigh.  
  
Poe crouched down in front of him, frowning. “Let me check it out first, please.”  
  
Finn leaned forward and removed his shoe and sock. He hissed as the fabric brushed against his skin. Poe carefully took Finn’s foot in his hand, his fingers cold against his skin.  
  
“It looks swollen” Poe muttered, lips pinched. His fingers wandered around Finn’s ankle, pressing here and there. Finn relaxed a little. It felt nice, in a strange way. Then Poe pressed a little more on the swollen area, and Finn grunted in pain. Poe slowly put Finn’s foot down.  
  
“I don’t think it’s broken, otherwise you’d be in a lot more pain. You definitely need to see a doctor, though.” He looked at Jessika. “Do you have any ice in the fridge?”  
  
“I’ll go get some” she answered before running off to the entrance building.  
  
Finn looked at Snap, Rey and Kylo, worried expressions on their face.  
“Sorry” he said softly.  
  
“What are you sorry for?” Poe answered, eyebrows creased. “That thing happens all the time. It’s just a dumb accident.”  
  
Jessika was back with an ice pack and elastic wrappings. Poe helped Finn tie it up against the swollen ankle. Finn sighed in relief, the cold easing out the pain.  
  
“Jessika, do you mind if I borrow your pick-up?”  
  
“It’s really that bad?” Finn began. It would take forty minutes to get back to town. If Poe drove him to the doctor, it would eat up the bigger part of the afternoon. “I mean, I could just wait here and-“  
  
“Finn, no” Poe interrupted him. “I don’t know how bad it is, and even if it’s not serious, the sooner we take care of it, the faster you will recover.”  
  
“He’s right, you know” Jessika said. “Safety first!”  
  
“I’ll come with you” Rey declared. Finn frowned.  
  
“Please, guys, stay. Jessika and Snap closed the venue for us, and I don’t want to spoil the afternoon for a stupid sprained ankle.”  
They all looked at each other, and Rey shrugged. “If that’s what you want, Finn, okay” she answered with a sad smile, and Finn felt his heart clench in his chest.  
  
“Good”, Poe said, before taking the car keys Jessika handed to them.  
  
“Careful on the road, guys.”  
  
Finn leaned his head against the window pane, looking at the barren trees passing on the side of the road.  
  
“I’m taking you to Dr. Kalonia, she’s an old friend of me and Jess” Poe explained, fumbling with the car radio’s scroll wheel. The reception was pretty bad, and he muttered something about the place being a godforsaken hole.  
  
Finn turned away from Poe. The guilt was taking the shape of a weight on his chest and a ball in his throat. He was an idiot, getting his ankle sprained during their first match. Poe had been so excited about going paintballing with him and Rey, and he was stuck playing driver for him for the rest of the afternoon. All he could think about was saying to Poe that he was sorry, but he already knew Poe would keep saying he had nothing to apologize for.  
  
“With any luck, it’s probably only going to last a few days” Poe began, after finally finding a radio station that didn’t crackle too much. “Don’t worry, Finn, we’re totally going to do this again. I mean, you had fun, right?”  
  
Finn let out a sad chuckle. “Yeah, it was fun. Didn’t last long enough, but I definitely enjoyed it.”  
  
Poe’s face brightened up. “That’s great, Finn! See, no afternoon spoiled after all.”  
  
Poe turned up the car radio’s volume. “I like this song” Poe told Finn with a large grin. He started singing along, loudly, covering the voice of the singer. Finn couldn’t help but grin at the vision before him.  
  
“I made you smile!” Poe declared proudly once the song was over. There were sparks in his dark eyes, his intoxicating grin was illuminating his face, and the pressure in Finn’s chest had nothing to do with guilt anymore.  
  
Poe had made him sit on the couch back at their flat. He dragged the coffee table towards the couch, put a cushion on it, and helped Finn put his bandaged foot on the cushion. It had been a minor ankle sprain, after all, and the doctor had assured Finn could walk if he was very careful not to put too much pressure on his foot. Yet Poe had made him promise to move as little as possible.  
  
He watched as Poe brought him BB-8, his laptop and his battery charger, a glass and a bottle of water with the painkillers they had bought on the way back to the doctor’s office.  
  
“Do you need anything else?” Poe finally asked. “Cookies? Your art supplies?”  
  
Finn shook his head vigorously. “It’s fine, really. You’re only going to be gone for an hour, I’ll just watch something on my computer.”  
  
“All right” Poe said. He walked into his room. There were a few minutes of silence, followed by a very unmanly squeal.  
  
“Is everything alright?” Finn asked, a little scared.  
  
Poe opened the door. He was standing very upright, pupils blown wide. He tried to articulate something, opening and closing his mouth.  
  
“I’m going to record an album” he finally managed to say. He sat down next to Finn, glassy-eyed. Still reeling from the shock.  
  
“That’s- That’s amazing!” Finn shouted at him. He could see it, he could see it very well – Poe recording a song in a cozy studio, guitar on his lap, and behind them, approbating producers nodding along the song and giving him the thumbs up once he had finished. And then Poe’s face on the aisles of record stores, in black and white maybe, it would bring really bring out his eyes.  
  
Poe seemed to have come to his senses, and he hugged Finn tightly against him. Finn ended up with an armful of Poe against him, the dark locks on Poe’s hair tickling his neck.  
  
“I’m going to sign tomorrow evening, and then I’ll leave in two weeks for SF” Poe blurted out after raising his head, eyes sparkling with pure bliss.  
The information didn’t register immediately in Finn’s brain.  
  
“SF?” he croaked.  
  
“San Francisco” Poe answered joyfully.  
For a brief second, Finn hoped there was a San Francisco on the East Coast. That Poe wasn’t talking about San Francisco, California, West Coast, on the other side of the bloody United States of America. A billion kilometers away from their apartment, or so it seemed to Finn.  
  
Poe’s smile faded a little bit. “Don’t worry, Finn. They offered me a healthy amount of money. If I manage to find a cheap enough studio in San Francisco, I can pay my half of the next two months of rent, so you’ll have time to see things through after I’m gone.”  
  
Finn wanted to slap him, tell him that he didn’t care about the apartment or the money and that he just didn’t want him and BB-8 to him. He wanted to slap himself for even thinking that.  
  
Poe had taken BB-8 in his hands, and he was making the dog jump on his lap. “Guess who’s going to San Francisco? We are!” he exclaimed, while BB-8 gave him a confused stare. He dropped BB-8 back on the couch and stood up.  
  
“Gotta bring everyone back – and tell them the news. Later, Finn!” he told him, smile illuminating his face. He jumped out of the apartment.  
BB-8 put his head over Finn’s thigh and sighed. He was looking at Finn with what seemed like a questioning look. He patted the dog’s head.   
  
“You’re going to San Francisco, BB! Isn’t that great? You’re going to meet plenty of new friends there. And I’m sure it’s nicer than here. Nice weather, too. You won’t have to walk in the rain half the time.”  
  
Don’t think about it, Finn thought, searching in his folders for a nice show he could watch while waiting for Poe’s return.


	5. Epiphanies

They all had gathered in the living room, drinking beer and laughing and congratulating Poe. His friend had taken his guitar out of its case, singing duets with Rey. Finn wanted to enjoy the evening. He really did. But deep down, he felt terrible. It wasn’t so much at the thought of Poe leaving him; it was more that he thought of himself at selfish for thinking about himself and his feelings before Poe’s happiness. You’re horrible, Finn, he thought. The man had ten years on him, and he knew he had seen his own share of professional and sentimental failures. He couldn’t ask him to stay, telling him to keep on teaching spoiled kids how to sing and read music when he should be putting his music out there for the world to enjoy.

“I just shouldn’t have gotten involved like that” Finn explained to Rey while walking BB-8, once the sprained ankle was nothing more than a bad memory.

“Why?” she asked, eyebrows raised. She was holding her arm, walking close to him so they could share Rey’s umbrella.

“I should have known this could happen, kept my distances with him. Just keep it like it was, two dudes desperate for a roof over their head, with nothing in common outside of their goal. Now I’m just miserable when I should be happy for him.”

“But you are happy for him.”

“Of course I am! It just feels wrong to feel so shit at the same time.”  
“Finn.” She tugged on his arm, forcing him to stop and look at her. “Stop trying not to feel what you feel. Because for one, that doesn’t work, and two, Poe genuinely wanted to be friends with you. And I know you wanted to be friends with him. Of course you’re going to feel like shit. You will miss him. I will miss him too.”

“That’s the thing, though, I always want to be friends with everyone and it always backfires on me.”

“Maybe that’s because you never tell them how you feel” she said dryly.

“You think it’s a good time to tell him? A week before he leaves? You don’t think he has enough on his plate already?” Finn was surprised at how angry he sounded. “Sorry, didn’t mean to yell” he mumbled in a softer tone.

“It’s cool, Finn.”

BB-8 tugged on the leash, and they resumed walking.

“I’m afraid that if I say something, he’s going to do something stupid.”

“Something stupid?”

Finn swallowed, hard. “You know how he is. Putting others before him. Always asking what’s on your mind, if he can do something for you, finding ways to cheer you up when you feel down. Not minding to cancel his afternoon plans if he has to drive someone to the doctor’s office. I’m afraid he’s going to try and put me before his personal priorities.”

“You are afraid of that”, Rey whispered softly. “But maybe you also wish it was something that could happen.”

Finn gasped. No, he wanted to yell, that wasn’t that at all. Rey was smiling sadly at him. It was horrible, even thinking about that. He had no right to ask that out of Poe.

“It would be incredibly selfish” Finn answered eventually. “I don’t want to be that person.”

Rey leaned on Finn’s shoulder, tightly holding his arm against her chest.

“It’s going to be Poe’s decision to stay or not, after you tell him your feelings. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s pretty special to you, Finn?”

“Yeah”, Finn admitted.

Rey sighed. “You know, it’s a shame he’s leaving now. You were finally getting the hang of the fake boyfriend thing. You were a cute couple.”  
Finn snorted, in a vain effort to ease the pain in his chest he felt at Rey’s last words.

“What’s so funny?”

“That’s what the doctor said before I left her office. We were a cute couple. She was happy that Poe had found a nice boyfriend.”

Finn buried himself under his work. He had moved his working station from the kitchen table to his bedroom. He had given Poe a lousy excuse, explaining that he needed a quieter atmosphere to work on a new project. Poe spent all his free time in the main living area, packing his collection of souvenirs, gathering his loose sheets of music, or calling real estate agencies to find a single-bedroom apartment at a decent price. Truth was that day to day, he saw all the tiny things that reminded him of Poe disappear into cardboard boxes, and he didn’t feel strong enough to bear it.

The worst part was that Poe had decided it was catch up time for all the TV shows and movies they had started watching, and never finished. Finn never had the heart to say no, even though he had completely lost interesting in what they watched. He didn’t want him to feel disappointed if he heard him say that, yes, sorry, Game of Thrones was really overrated and he didn’t care anymore. There was another reason, and it was that Poe would sometimes fall asleep on his shoulder in the middle of the third episode. His curls would brush against his lips and chin, and Finn would glance at his face, completely relaxed, lips curved in a charming smile. Each time, Finn would feel his heart sink a little lower down his chest.

The day before Poe moved out, he handed a flyer to Finn.

“It’s my last evening at La Résistance. I would like you to come see my show, Finn. Please.”

There was a nervousness in his voice that Finn didn’t like. He briefly glanced up at him. Poe’s lips were pinched.

“Sorry, I should have told you sooner, I forgot, what with all the other stuff.” He laughed nervously.

“No, it is fine, Poe. I had no other plans for tonight, anyway.” Finn glanced back at the flyer. As the day of the moving came to a close, he had a hard time even looking at Poe. He didn’t know if he did a good job at hiding his sadness, so he figured it was better if he could avoid him.

“Okay. That’s cool. Have a nice day, Finn.”

“You too, Poe” and Finn left the apartment, closing the door behind him.  
Finn carefully folded the flyer and tucked in the back pocket of his trousers. Last evening at La Résistance, the bar Poe played at with his bandmates every weekend for a month so, sounded so definitive. And wrong. He wished he never had to associate the word last with anything

Poe-related. Finn placed his hands in the pockets of his coat. He kicked a rock on his path to the subway, watching it bounce on the road.

He could barely focus at work, his eyes on the clock behind Phasma’s desk. He watched the seconds and the minutes pass by, only actively restacking the shelves when he felt Phasma’s icy stare on his nape. It took him a good ten minutes to notice he had placed the new Wolverines in the middle of the DC comics’ shelves. He grunted in frustration, and started over again.

Finn kept himself busy by being more outgoing to the customers than he used to. Anything not to think about Poe, he told himself.

It was way too soon when Phasma turned the banner hanging out on the door, signaling to eventual passersby that the shop was closed for the day. She leaned on the door, chin on her hand, giving a calculating look at Finn.

“You lacked concentration today. However, I noticed an improvement in your relationship with our customers” she said in her usual clinical tone.  
Finn crossed his arms on his chest, eyebrows raised. Waiting for the conclusion.

“I would recommend adding more salmon to your diet. Omega-3 are beneficial for keeping one’s brain in good health, and it’s rich in amino acids, who are good for concentration.”

“I didn’t know you were a health junkie, Phasma.”

“I only intend to keep my employees in the best shape. It is good for business.”

Finn shrugged. He guessed it was Phasma’s twisted way of saying that she cared for him, even a little. Or maybe it was because he was the only employee who managed to survive for longer than three months, and she didn’t want to let him go.

“I’ll think about it. Have a nice weekend, Phasma.”

She was already back behind the counter, looking up the stock on the computer. She simply waved at him.

Outside, the drizzle that had been falling for the better part of the week hadn’t stopped. Finn tied his scarf around his neck and closed his coat. His slid his left hand in his pocket, grabbing the keys to the apartment. He didn’t really want to go home and maybe run into Poe getting ready for tonight’s jig.

He could directly go to La Résistance and wait there until Poe arrived. He could also simply not go, a voice suggested in his head. Wait until Poe would leave the apartment, get home, watch a movie, and go to bed before he’d come back.

Finn shook his head. What a horrible thing to do, he thought. Yet as he planned in his head the path he’d have to take in the city to get to the bar, he felt as if icy fingers had wrapped around his heart, blocking out the blood flow from his chest to his brain.

His feet took him by the channel cutting the town in half. He sat down on a bench on the sidewalk. The oldest part of the town was across the river, tall houses occupied now by fancy apartments, first floors turned into bars, coffee shops or restaurants. He pulled out the invitation Poe had given to him in the morning from his pocket. It wasn’t that far from where  
he was sitting, actually.

He still had time to think about what he wanted to do.

The more he thought about it, the less he wanted to move from his spot, despite the cold, the wind and the drizzle.

His phone was buzzing like mad in the front pocket of his trousers. He waited until the street lamps lighted up to look at it.

Rey had tried to call him seven times. He sighed, and called her back.

“Finn, what in the fucking hell are you doing?” she yelled over the phone.

“I was on my way” Finn lied.

“You’re lying, Finn, I can hear it- wait, are you fucking bailing out of this?” she continued.

Finn didn’t know what to answer. In a sense, yes, he was.

“Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m just on the other side of the river.”

“I’m coming to get you. Don’t fucking move.” She hung up on Finn.

She arrived a few minutes later. Finn hadn’t dared to move. From the phone conversation, he was almost sure that she would kill him if he did. When he looked at her walking in her direction, fists clenched, hair wet and making big steps, he was definitely sure she would have killed him if he had moved.

Her whole face was twisted by anger when she forcefully grabbed his arm.

“I don’t fucking care if you have trouble expressing yourself, but missing Poe’s last concert, that’s just incredibly shitty, Finn.”

Finn swallowed hard. There was a fire in her eyes, and her voice was shaking with anger. She pulled on his arm, forcing him to stand up and walk. For someone of her size and build, she was very strong. And you are weak, a sorry excuse for a human being, Finn thought.

She took the invitation from Finn’s hand and forcefully gave it to the guy at the entrance. Even the guy had seemed scared by her gaze. She made him sit down at a table in the middle of the bar, slightly to the left of the stage. Jessika and Snap were there, clapping with the audience, heads turned towards the band, a half-empty glass of beer in front of them.

“It started half an hour ago” Rey mumbled at Finn.

The applause died out, and Jessika and Snap turned their heads towards Finn. Snap was frowning at him. Jessika was grinning, but her eyes were throwing daggers at Finn. “I was starting to believe you’d never come.”  
Finn finally dared to turn his head towards the stage. Poe was standing up, holding a water bottle with one hand and the neck of his guitar with the other. He was clean-shaved, his hair pulled behind his head save for a stray dark lock on his forehead. He was wearing a shirt Finn had never seen him in before, tight against his body, and one of his only pair of trousers that didn’t have holes or wasn’t frayed. He was also damn sure he had thoroughly cleaned his old boots, too.

He was beautiful. If it was the last image he would keep of Poe, it wasn’t so bad, Finn thought.

Poe turned his head towards Jessika’s table and spotted Finn.

His eyes widened, and he half-opened his mouth. He turned around to see something to his bandmates that Finn was too far away to understand. He watched as Poe’s fingers were clenched against the water bottle. Poe then sat back down on his stool, fidgeting a bit with the chords.

“So, tonight’s a bit special, as you know, it’s our last show here. I’d like to thank Maz for welcoming us here at La Résistance for the past month” he began, nodding and winking at a middle-aged black woman leaning against a pillar across the room. “I also wanted to sing something I have never sung in public before, so bear with me, guys.”

There were a few shouts and claps of cheering coming from the tables closest to the stage.

Poe chuckled, then his smile faded on his lips. He took a deep, long breath, and closed his eyes.

Finn didn’t recognize the song Poe started playing. The melody of it suggested some kind of ballad, but he couldn’t be sure, he was just some guy who did drawings.

Then Poe started singing, voice high-pitched and just slightly hoarse, slightly on the verge of breaking. It was beautiful, and Finn thought that a song about traveling in the subway had no right to be so great, to tug at his heartstrings like it was doing right now.

“But it’s just you and me” Poe sang, and he raised his gaze to look at Finn in the eyes, pupils blown wide, mouth slightly twisted downwards, and Finn’s heart skipped a beat. Poe was going to be the death of him, he thought, as Poe continued singing. I breathe your breathe, hold it in my weakening hand, the lyrics of Poe’s song said, and Finn grabbed automatically Rey’s hand lying on the table, probably crushing her fingers, judging by her muffled shout.

Poe was back in the dark tunnels of the subway, taking Finn and everyone else with him, and it was a breather, really. Poe was just into that part of the song as he was for the part before, tapping his foot on the floor, slightly rocking on his stool, eyes half-closed, focused on his voice and on his instrument.

“It’s just you and me” Poe sang again, drawing out the syllables, looking at him in the eyes, holding his gaze a little longer than the first time. He breathed in for the next sentence, and Finn gasped, bracing for impact.

“I breathe your breathe, fold it in my withering lungs” and Finn could picture it very well in his head, he and Poe about to take the subway in opposite directions, standing in each other’s arms. Their mouths close enough for Finn to feel Poe’s breath against his lips. Then Poe would slightly tilt his head to the side, and press his warm and soft lips against his.

Finn died a little inside, and maybe he made a little squealing sound, or he was again crushing Rey’s hand, but he vaguely noticed in his peripheral vision that she had turned his head towards him.

He barely listened to the rest of lyrics, and the song was almost over already, but Finn had finally understood why so many people swore they could be happy hearing their favorite singer sing the phone book.

There was a thunder of applause after Poe played the last notes of his song, and the table closest to the stage was cheering loudly at him. He bowed to them, grinning.

“Earth to Finn” Jessika said, after she was done clapping.

Finn realized he had been sitting motionless for a good minute or so. Poe announced that the band was taking a short break. He jumped down from the stage, glanced briefly at Finn before opening a door leading to an inner court behind the building.

Rey punched him in the shoulder. “It’s time, Finn.” She grabbed his arm again, dragging him away from the table and pushing towards the door in the back.  
That was definitely the worst case scenario, Finn thought. If it had just been the end of a friendship, he could have dealt with it, he was used to it. A one-sided crush was much worse, already, but still, he could manage.

But no matter how he could twist them, there wasn’t much room from alternative interpretations of “I breathe your breathe”, especially if someone was singing it in front of you and was looking straight at you the way Poe had looked at him.

Why did you have to have a crush on him, Poe? Finn wanted to ask him. Why right when you’re about to get your big breakthrough?

Rey pushed him outside, and immediately closed the door behind her, before leaning against it, arms crossed in her chest. Finn looked to his right. The inner yard wasn’t really one, and there appeared to be a path between two houses leading to the main street. Look at you, Finn, he told himself.  
The first thing you do is look for an escape route.

Poe was looking at him intensely, his arms behind his back, flanked by his bandmates, gazing curiously at Finn and Rey. The only light outside was coming from an old neon lamp over the backdoor, accentuating the shadows on Poe’s face, bringing out his traits.

“Finn”, he began, but Finn interrupted him.

“Your song was great, Poe. I’m so glad you invited me here” Finn said very quickly, forcing himself to smile and take a relaxed tone. “I’m sure you will do great in San Francisco. I mean, they’re already crazy about you here. As for me…” Finn hesitated, watching Poe’s body tense up, and he was licking his lower lip, and Poe started to reach his hand towards him.

“I think I’ll go back to the apartment now. I’m a bit tired. Busy day at work, and all that. So, see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay” Poe answered, very softly, before lowering his gaze towards his boots. Finn turned around at the door. Rey was horrified, her traits deformed in a mix of anger and disgust at him. Back alley it was, then.

Finn tried to walk away as casually as possible, forcing himself not to look at Poe or his bandmates. He heard Rey immediately follow his footsteps. “Finn, stop” she ordered as Finn was entering the back alley. He quickened the pace, entering the street busy with passersby, mingling briefly with the crowd.

“Finn!” he heard Rey yell behind him, and he started running towards the bridge crossing the channel.

He ran away from the city center, without really knowing where to go. He realized that really, for someone who had lived here for years, he didn’t know the city much outside of his workplace and his apartment. He heard Rey’s footsteps on the pavement behind him, and tried to shake her off by turning at random between the closed shops. He had a stitch on his left side, and after a few minutes of turning and running, he crouched down in a dark alley, doing his best to catch his breath.

 

He winced as he heard Rey coming behind him.

“Finn” she said gravely. He turned around to look at her. She was holding her smartphone in her hand, providing some light. Her traits were still twisted in anger. Finn was sure she was going to kill him.

“My God, you’re such an idiot, Finn. Wake up! You’re an adult, in love with someone who loves you back. Why the fuck did you decide to friendzone the shit out of him? Just give me one fucking good reason and I leave you alone.”

Finn swallowed hard. “It was the right thing to do.”

“How?”

“I told you. He could be doing something stupid, like fuck up his whole career.”

“How about you stop for a second to try and decide for the rest of the world, Finn?” She was hissing at him, and Finn was almost sure she was shaking with anger.

Why did she care, a little voice asked in Finn’s head, and the voice grew louder and louder, and it was Finn’s turn to shake with anger. She didn’t understand, he thought. She didn’t know Poe like Finn knew him, how stupidly selfless he could act sometimes. She didn’t even know Finn like Finn knew himself. She didn’t know that Poe deserved better than some young, inexperienced virgin that had never managed so far to make a real friendship last, let alone a romantic relationship.

“Why do you care so much?” he groaned at her. “I’m a fucking idiot. Why don’t you let me be a fucking idiot in peace? I do what I want and I do what I think is right.”

“Because the last time someone in my life left me because it was the right to do, Finn-” she answered, her voice breaking, “I was fucking five and it was my dad leaving me at a friend’s place in a godforsaken hole in the New Mexico desert.”

Her whole body was shaking, tears rolling down her face. “I never saw him again. He thought he would be a bad role model for me, Aunt Leia told me, once. But I don’t care. I just wish I had a choice in the matter, you know? And yeah, you can say that I was too young to really understand. It was for the best probably that I ended up with Aunt Leia and Ben instead. But Poe’s a grown-up, Finn. He can figure out things for himself, and whatever his decision may be, you need to fucking respect it. And you need to lay your cards on the table, and stop lying or hiding your feelings. If you keep doing it, I don’t think I can be your friend anymore.”

“I’m so sorry” was all Finn managed to blurt out.

“Yeah, nice, thank you Finn, never heard that one before” she mumbled, wiping off the tears from her with her arm.

He reached out to her, arms open, and hugged her tightly against his chest. She let out a little scream of surprise, and Finn almost expected her to fight back. She stood very still in his arms instead, before lowering her own arms to pass them behind Finn’s back.

“I’m so sorry for being such an idiot” Finn said softly.

“Well, you’re an idiot all right” she answered. “I’m an idiot, too. Didn’t mean to pull the problematic dad card on you.” She sniffed loudly.

“It’s cool. You just needed to vent.”

“Yeah.” She pulled out of the hug, wiping the remainder of her tears. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know” he answered sheepishly, and she gave him an elbow kick in  
the ribs.

“Stop staying you don’t know! Think!” she ordered.

“It’s- what if he gets mad at me for only like, confessing to him when he’s about to leave?”

“First, you’d deserve it. Second, judging by the way he looks at you when you’re in the room, I don’t think he can stay mad at you for long.”

Finn conceded that it wasn’t really Poe’s type to hold grudges, unless you were an irremediable douche, like piano guy. He raised his forearms and clenched his fist. “I’m ready, now, Rey. I’m going to tell him how I feel.”

“Wait” Rey said, looking down at her phone. “You just friendzoned him about ten minutes ago.”

“So?”

“I’m receiving texts from Jessika and… he’s still reeling from it.” She bit her lip. “And he still has to finish his show, you know.”

Finn’s stomach emitted a loud groan. “And you can’t confess with an empty belly", Rey added.

“What’s your plan, then?”

“You tell him when he comes home.”

Finn nodded. “Okay. I’m trusting you on this.”

She chuckled. “Second confession of the evening: I don’t have much more experience in relationships than you.”

Finn’s eyes widened. “What? How? I mean, you’re like, really cute, and you have a great personality, and you know how to do a bunch of stuff.”

“Well, you know, I didn’t know what to do with myself. Who I wanted to be. I thought it would be better if I didn’t involve other people in my life before I figured myself out.”

“Oh. Okay. I can understand that.”

“So, we’re going or what?” she asked, hands on her waist.

“Right behind you, Rey.”

The drizzle had started falling back again during their way back to the apartment. Rey had wrapped her hair in a towel, and was looking at the content of Finn and Poe’s fridge, pouting.

“Errr, I guess we can make grilled cheese sandwiches?”

The power of a hot meal on the human soul was incredible, Finn thought later, as he was eating his third sandwich. He was objectively having the worst evening of his life. He might have lost the love and the friendship of his roommate, and he almost lost the friendship and loyalty of his best friend. Yet, he was feeling strangely relaxed.

“I don’t deserve you” Finn declared to Rey after swallowing his bite.

“Because of my amazing cooking and baking skills?” Rey asked. She had cut a piece of her sandwich and was tearing it away very slowly, careful not to break the cheese strings.

“That too, but for sticking out with me, mostly.”

“I told you, we’re both idiots, we need to stick together to survive.” She carefully turned her fork around, putting the piece in her mouth. The cheese strings broke and fell on her chin. Finn burst out laughing.

“That was a terrible idea” Rey commented with a grin, before removing the strings.

They made quick work out of the dishes, and Rey was heating up a saucepan full of milk. She opened the cupboard, taking out a jar of honey and powdered ginger. Finn watched curiously as she poured some ginger in the steaming milk, stirring for a few minutes. She then grabbed two mugs in another cupboard, and divided the milk between them.

“What’s this?” Finn finally asked, as Rey was mixing some honey in her mug.

“Aunt Leia’s Non-Alcoholic Cure for Everything.” She put her mug on the coffee table, sat down on the couch. BB-8 put its front legs on the couch, blinking at Rey. “Come here, you cute baby” Rey said in a high-pitched voice, and grabbed the dog. BB-8 put its head on Rey’s thigh, sniffing out the aroma of Rey’s drink.

Finn put some honey on his mug, and sat down next to BB-8.

“So what do we do now?” Finn asked before getting a taste of the beverage. It was pretty tasty, a good balance between the sweetness of the honey and the heat of the ginger.

“Now our watch begins, Finn” Rey declared solemnly. She put her mug on the table, and yawned loudly. “You take the first watch. All these emotions and confessions have killed me.” She removed her boots, wrapping her legs under herself.

“Roger that, Captain” Finn replied, as Rey closed her eyes.


	6. Ends

Finn was woken up by the rays of sunlight peeking out from the old shutters. He blinked a few times, the memories flooding back to his brain.  
Poe.

He looked at Rey, curled up on the couch, mirroring BB-8’s position. Did they miss him? Finn looked around and saw that the cardboard boxes encumbering the living room were still there. Finn felt relieved. He jumped from the couch and ran to Poe’s room.

Empty.

Shit.

He shook Rey’s shoulder. “Rey, Rey, wake up, I don’t know where Poe is.”  
“What?” she croaked, rubbing her eyes and stretching her legs. She reached for her phone, lying on the table, accidentally elbowing BB-8. “Sorry”, she answered in a sleepy voice. The dog sighed and dropped down on the floor. It started sniffing around the apartment, looking for its master.  
“So, uh, Poe slept at Jessika’s place… and… she sent me a message telling me they left at… 7:30 AM? And we’re… uh… It’s 7:45 AM.” She smiled weakly at Finn.

“Rey, how far away is Jessika’s place?”

She scratched her hair. “Not a lot of cars at this hour on a weekend… about twenty minutes. Why?”

She paused, and a horrified look dawned on her face. “Oh no, Finn, you look like shit.”

Finn put his hand over his cheek, feeling the growing, itchy stubble on it. He looked down at his crumpled tee-shirt. He probably smelled terrible, too. “You’re right, I look like shit.”

“Okay, I got this” Rey told him, and she jumped on her handbag, pulling out a mint flavored chewing gum. “There.”

“Thanks Rey” he said as he unwrapped the foil, before putting everything in his mouth and chewing intensely. “That’s good for the nerves, right?”

“I wasn’t giving it to you for your nerves” Rey replied, and Finn felt his cheeks warm up.

They heard a car stopping before the house. BB-8 stopped his search around the apartment, one front leg raised, ears moving.

Finn opened the blinds.

Jessika’s pick-up. Poe opening the passenger door and stepping out of the car.

Finn opened the window. “Poe Dameron!” he yelled, leaning over the window frame.

Poe raised his head. Finn couldn’t get a very good look from where he was, but it seemed to him that Poe looked like shit, too. He felt a pang of guilt knock the air out of his lungs.

“Finn!” Poe yelled back at him. His dark eyes were two tiny bright obsidian pearls in the morning light. He was standing in the middle of the alleyway, looking up at Finn.

“Finn, I’m not going to San Francisco.”

Finn clenched his hands on the window frame. “But why?”

“Well, last night I tried to serenade you in front of about forty strangers, right before going on a cross country road trip. In retrospect, it was a pretty shitty thing to do. I can’t undo that. What I can do is cancel the cross country road trip. It’s still a terrible idea, but maybe it’s a little less terrible, this way.”

“Poe, you’re an idiot” Finn answered. He felt blood rising to his face, to his temples, his heart beating like crazy in his chest. That wasn’t what he wanted. He wasn’t worth Poe losing his promising career for him.

“Worse than that” Poe answered, grinning, his eyes sparkling. “I’m an idiot in love. In love with you.”

Finn didn’t answer. What could he answer to that, anyway? He felt as if he had started to split into Finns, one of them feeling pure bliss at hearing the news that yes, the man he loved did love him back, and the other terrified at seeing the man he loved tossing everything aside for him. And neither of these Finns could articulate something back.

Poe’s smile faded. “Finn”, he began, and he interrupted himself, swallowing hard. “I love you. But it’s more than that, really, you’re my buddy, I feel like I’ve known you forever, and you’re just a fucking ray of sunshine in my life. My songs? They were written about you, they’re all about you, Finn. And I can’t go any further if I don’t know how you feel about me.”

He rubbed his forearm against his face. “I don’t even care if you don’t love me back. I’ll learn to be your friend. I just want to keep on hanging out with you, however you want it. But if I embarrassed you, if you don’t like me, please say it now, because I’m going to need some time to recover from that, so I better start today. You know?”

Poe’s voice was cracking, and he sniffed loudly. Look, you made him cry, he told himself. He felt tears pearl in the corner of his own eyes, and he crushed them with his finger. He tried to breath, but he felt as his lungs were crushed under the heavy weight on his heart beating loudly in his chest.

A small idea germinated into his brain. His first instinct was to reject it, but it grew instead, spreading among the neurons, until it affirmed itself as the right thing to do.

“Fuck me” Finn yelled, punching the window frame with his closed fist. He turned his head towards Rey, and as if she was reading her mind, her eyes filling up with tears.

“Please don’t hate me” Finn whispered to her.

“Never” she answered, a smile breaking through her tears. He pulled her into a tight hug.

“I know you can handle yourself-“

“Shh” she interrupted him. “You’re right, I can.” She broke the hug, and put a hand on Finn’s cheek. “Go now”, she ordered, before pushing him towards the hallway.

Finn jumped down the stairs, cutting Kylo off on the first floor. He stopped a few seconds to remove the chewing-gum from his mouth and wrap it  
in the foil, before running to the entrance door.

Poe hadn’t moved a bit. Like Rey, he had somehow managed to smile through his tears. It was a horrible look on him.

He stopped less than a meter away from Poe. Finn closed his eyes, trying to gather enough air to say something.

“Poe Dameron, I love you” he declared in a reedy voice.

Poe took a step forward, sliding one arm over Finn’s waist, pulling him closer to him. They leaned together forward, mouth half-open, only managing to bump each other’s noise. Finn winced, but Poe seemed unfazed, cupping Finn’s cheek with his free hand, slightly rubbing it with his thumb.

Finn closed his eyes.

Poe’s lips were neither as warm nor as soft as he had imagined them to be. Finn didn’t care. The real deal was better than anything he could have dreamed about the previous evening.

Poe broke the kiss way, way too soon. He pressed their foreheads together, his dark, bright eyes sparkling with joy, and his intoxicating, warm grin was back on his lips. Seeing him like that was almost as good as kissing him, Finn decided, as he felt the knots in his chest loosen up.

“Poe, I want to go with you. To San Francisco.”

Finn read the surprise in Poe’s eyes. “But what about you?” Poe blurted out.

“All I need is paper, pencils, my scanner, my laptop and an Internet connection. They do have the Internet in SF, right?”

“And your job?”

“I never liked Phasma. Nobody will blame me for quitting. Hell, all the other employees before me ended up quitting after three months tops.”  
Finn ran the tip of his tongue over his dry lips. “Poe” he gasped, you do want me to come with you?”

“Of course I do, Finn” he whispered, gently stroking Finn’s face. “I don’t want you to leave your life behind for me.” There was a mournful expression on his face, and Finn feared he was going to going to tear up again.

Finn kissed him, pressing against his lips, feeling Poe’s stubble tickle his skin. “I’m not leaving anything behind. I mean, it is 2016, there is no way we can’t keep in touch with our friends here if we want to. Besides, we’re not going away forever, right?”

“Right” Poe answered quietly, and his smile was back on his face.

“Awww, you guys won cutest couple award of 2016, everyone else can go home now.”

Finn turned around, and spotted Rey holding an excited BB-8 in her arms. She let the dog down, and it ran towards its master, barking and wiggling his tails. Poe crouched down, petting its dog and letting it lick his land.

“Missed you too, BB. Hey, do you know who’s going to California with us? Finn is going to California with us! Isn’t it amazing?”

“I was starting to believe it was never going to happen” Mrs. Organa said, appearing behind her niece.

“So that’s what all this agitation was for” Kylo said, appearing in turn behind his mother. He removed his welder mask, grinning mischievously as them.

No, all three of them were grinning mischievously at them. Poe had stood up and grabbed Finn’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

“Mrs. Organa, that’s not what it looks like”, Poe began, flustered. “I mean-”

She raised her hand, gesturing him to stop talking. “You mean, this isn’t Finn and you confessing your feelings and becoming boyfriends for real after playing pretend boyfriends for over three months?”

Poe squeezed Finn’s hand. Mrs. Organa was giving him her piercing,  
questioning look, reducing Poe to a blubbering mess, the skin on his cheeks colored in an interesting shade of red.

“When?” Poe finally managed to blurt out.

“I had my doubts when I first saw you two at my door. I was sure you were lying by the end of the interview.”

“But why?” Finn finally asked.

Mrs. Organa shrugged. “People don’t usually stay very long here, what with Kylo experimenting downstairs. As I told you, I don’t have much  
sensibilities for the fine arts. I hoped that maybe you could reach out to Ben, in some way.”

She looked up at her son, melancholy in her eyes, smiling. Kylo looked down at her and briefly smiled back, before looking flustered and grimacing. “My name is Kylo Ren, mother” he mumbled, before scratching nervously the back of his hand.

Rey puffed, covering her mouth with one hand.

“Rey, did you know that Mrs. Organa knew about us?” Finn asked.

“She told me all about the cute fake gay couple the afternoon after you moved in” she answered with a grin.

“Rey, you-“ Finn yelled at her, realizing she had played them like a damn fiddle since the very beginning.

“I wasn’t going to pass on free drawing lessons!”

“Guys, this is cute and all” Jessika intervened, leaning on her car. “But there’s a long trip waiting for our two lovebirds right here, so we better get going. Poe, Finn, go take a shower, you look like shit. Poe, I’m driving you to the rental car agency when you’re done.”

Twenty minutes later, Poe was off with Jessika. In the meantime, Rey was helping Finn pack his things.

“You are sure you are okay?” Finn asked a few times, as Rey gathered Finn’s drawings and put them in a box. He could see she was forcing herself to smile. Finn himself didn’t want to think much about the time he would have to say goodbye to her. He was ecstatic at the idea to move in with Poe, not as roommates but as boyfriends, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t miss Rey like crazy.

“Yes” she said quietly. “Just promise me you won’t get a new female best friend forever once you arrive in San Francisco.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible. There’s no way the girls in California can be as awesome as you, Rey.” He put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up to him and swallowed back her tears. He pulled her into a hug, pressing her frame against his chest.

“Come on, Finn, we still have stuff to do!” she argued, breaking the hug. Finn looked down on his own pile of drawing he had gathered. He flicked through them, stopping on one of his most recent ones.

“Rey, I think you should have this one” he said, pulling it out of the pile. He had drawn it after the paintball afternoon, while stuck on the couch on Poe’s orders. He had drawn Rey wearing a brown leather armor, a long sand-colored scarf wrapped around her neck, holding a large wooden shield and a long iron sword. On the other side of the page, facing Rey, he had represented Ren, clad in black metallic armor, with a full assorted helmet and wielding his long Japanese sword.

“Finn, this is amazing” she answered, stars in her eyes, a large grin spreading across her face. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“It’s not nothing”, she protested, and she leaned in, dropping a kiss on Finn’s forehead.

Poe had come back with his rental car, Snap and Jessika following in their cars behind him. Finn was surprised by how small it was, compared to the room Poe’s boxes were taking in the living room.

“Where are you going to put all of that?” Finn asked as Poe took the box containing all his vinyl records.

“Most of it is going to go into a storage box. And then… If it works out, and we can rent a bigger place, I’ll ship them there. I’m still taking the bare necessities with us” he explained, shaking his box, and Finn snorted.

They hauled off the larger part of Poe’s possessions in Jessika’s pick-up. Finn watched the car drive away with a knot in his throat. When Poe would come back, they would be set to go.

Rey gave him an elbow kick in his ribs. “Come on, Finn, we still need to load your stuff into the car and finish cleaning up.”

They made quick work out of that, and they ended up sitting down in the living room. Finn had opened the window, so he could hear Jessika’s pick-up. She had put BB-8 on her lap, scratching it behind the ears, whispering that BB-8 was the cutest little thing she had ever seen, and that it had to keep on being so nice to Finn now that he was officially becoming its second dad.

“The time has come” Rey said gravely, as they heard the sound of Jessika’s pick-up pulling over in the street.

Surprisingly enough, Kylo and Mrs. Organa had joined Rey, Jessika and Snap to say their farewells. Finn muffled a laugh as he watched Mrs. Organa pull Poe in a warm hug, doing her best to circle Poe’s back with her arms. Poe looked flushed, not used to see their landlady being so affectionate with them.

Kylo had managed to pull Finn into a hug too, and Poe didn’t bother to hide his laughter. It was very brief and awkward, Kylo being very tense and probably not used to hugging anyone at all. Then he reached out to Poe, and it was Finn’s turn to laugh.

Finn held Rey in his arm for the longest time. She pressed her forehead against him. She was smiling, and Finn was happy to see that there were no more tears in her eyes.

“You better call me every evening” she ordered “and I want pictures!”

“We probably won’t have time to do a lot of touring, Rey”

“I’m sure we can manage to see some interesting stuff on the road” Poe offered, winking at Rey. “I’ll take the pictures, Finn is a terrible photograph.”

Reluctantly, Poe, Finn and BB-8 finally entered the rented car, with BB-8 sitting on Finn’s lap in the passenger seat. Finn waved at Rey until she disappeared from his view.

He let out a long, deep sigh. “I’m going to miss her so much.”

“Me too” Poe agreed. “We can still turn around if you want to” he proposed, glancing at Finn and biting his lower lip.

“I don’t want to. I want to do this. With you”, Finn insisted.

They had one more stop before leaving the city behind them.

Poe parked the car a few meters away from Phasma’s comic book shop. “Want me to come with you?” he asked.

“No, no, I’m fine, don’t worry” Finn answered, waving his hand before him.  
He had played out the scene in his head several times before. It was always in the evening, at the end of a bad day, when Phasma would make a dry commentary on his work performances and he would sort of snap, yell at her how much of a terrible manager she was, and that it was entirely her fault if she couldn’t keep her employees.

He had never imagined he would do this by a sunny Saturday afternoon, a bright smile on his face, at peace with himself.

“Hello, Phasma” he exclaimed almost joyfully. She was talking to another employee, a short brown-haired girl with glasses he had seen from time to time. They were also never on the same shifts, so he never got to know her very well.

“Finn, this isn’t your shift” she remarked coldly.

“I know. I’m here to tell you that I’m quitting.”

The two women stared at him, wide-eyed. Phasma’s mouth was half-open in astonishment. Finn was pretty sure he was the first person who didn’t quit while tearing up.

“Why?”

“I have a boyfriend now, and he needs to leave town for the West Coast this evening. I know I am supposed to give you a two weeks’ notice, but I only made my decision this morning. Both for having a boyfriend and leaving with him, I mean.”

She blinked once or twice, still reeling from the shock.

“Well” she finally said. “You will be missed. You were a good employee, Finn.”

The other employee emitted a little squeal of surprise. It was Finn’s turn to be astonished. He had worked for her for over a year, and it was the first time she had said such a straightforward compliment to him.

“Thank you.”

“I’m sure we can do the necessary paperwork over e-mail. I’m sorry, but I have customers to take care of. Goodbye, Finn.” She turned away from him and her employee, directing her attention on a young couple looking at the aisles.

“Goodbye, Phasma.”

 

“How did it go?” Poe asked once Finn was settling back on the passenger’s seat and BB-8 was settling back on Finn’s lap.

“It went great. I think she was just stunned that I decided to quit without making any fuss.”

“Good” Poe replied, and he put his hands over the driving wheel.

“We’re not going?” Finn asked, his eyebrows raised.

“Just one minute.” Poe turned his head towards Finn, grinning at him, eyes wide open. He reached out to Finn, pressing his lips against his. Finn closed his eyes, opening his mouth. He put his hand over Poe’s head, his fingers stroking Poe’s dark locks of hair. Poe sighed against his mouth, and tentatively brushed the tip of his tongue behind Finn’s teeth.

It felt amazing, Finn thought, the contact of Poe’s tongue against his warm and wet and delicious. Poe broke the kiss way too soon once again, gasping for air, cheeks flushed.

“I still can’t believe it” he finally said.

“Can’t believe what?” Finn asked.

“You. Me. SF. You and me in SF.”

BB-8 glared at Poe. “Sorry, BB. I meant, you, Finn and me in SF.” He leaned his head on the back of his seat, breathing out slowly.

“Ready?” Poe finally asked, putting his hand over Finn’s knee, rubbing it slightly with his thumb.

“Ready” Finn nodded.

“We’re going to do this, buddy” Poe declared, grinning, as he started up their car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to first thank the lovely anon who prompted this in the first place. Spaced is a pretty rad series, and you should all watch it if you can. I hope you had as much fun reading this fic as I had writing it. It's nowhere near as funny as the actual TV show, and it completely falls into angst territory near the end, but if you're a fan of both Spaced and TFA like me, I hope you will appreciate it anyway.
> 
> The chapters' titles are shamelessly pulled from the episode titles of the first series of Spaced, except they're not following the series' episode order. I wanted to stay away from cutting and pasting the show's storyline and try to tell a story similar-but-not-identical with the same premise.
> 
> The lyrics in Chapter 6 are from Oscar Isaac and Bruce Ferguson's song "Switchable City." I stumbled upon this version ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WyYXgYw0Dc ) while researching the "Poe is an aspiring singer" part of my prompt. This video was actually the dealbreaker that decided me to fill it.
> 
> As I said for my other fics, I'm not a native English speaker, so I'll take all the feedback from my readers I can get to improve my writing. If something bothers you, grammar, vocabulary, syntax, or even stuff not related directly to my English, please leave a comment.
> 
> I am also looking for a beta reader (preferably a Native English speaker). If you are interested, please leave me an ask or a message on my tumblr account (kumaria.tumblr.com) or send me a message to my dreamwidth account (http://kumaria7.dreamwidth.org/). Thanks for reading!


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